Ask the Web Fu Master
He'll find your rare movie on the Internet – or work up a good sweat trying.

August 4 2002

Hello and welcome to the first installment of "Ask the Web Fu Master." I'm your host, Tim Lehnerer. For two years I was a professional researcher for a reference publisher. Now I am putting the skills I gained to absolutely no good use whatsoever. If you are looking for that one thing you remember catching once on TV decades ago, let me know everything you know about the film and I'll see if I can't track it down for you.

The guys at Stomp Tokyo asked me to do this column based on my performance on the B-Movie Message Board; why not check it out? It's at www.badmoviezone.com and you should enjoy it.

For my inaugural column I decided to do a good deed for one of the B-Masters and find all the stuff on his wish list – I've enjoyed Dr. Freex's writing for two years now and I'd like to do him a good turn. He has no idea that I'm doing this. Next up, I replace his coffee with Folger's crystals. Let's watch his reaction, shall we?

Savage Sisters is available on VHS from the fine folks at Creature Feature Videos. The listing for this film can be found at www.creaturefeaturevideo.com/newadditions/index.htm#VHS; I hope that it shows up for the next Valentine's Day Cheri Caffaro film.

Dr. Freex can find himself a copy of Destination Inner Space over at The House of Monsters. It's only 15 bucks. www.thehouseofmonsters.com/videos.html will point you in the right direction. I'm almost positive this is the right one because both the esteemed Doctor Freex and the merchants here mention a "gill man" and Scott Brady. If you don't want to use The House of Monsters there are copies available over at cinefear.com/cincoll.html, the web home of Cinefear Video.

The people over at The House of Monsters also have a copy of The Cape Canaveral Monsters. It's only fifteen dollars. Doctor F, tell Ôem the Chosen One sent you.

Lastly, I was able to find Dimension 5 on video. Dr. Freex had it listed as Dimension Five on his site, showing just how much of a stickler for detail the Internet can be. I found nothing under Dimension Five, and found the same plot and stars in Dimension 5 over at Hollywood's Attic. They have copies of this for the low, low price of $19.95; you can check them out at www.hollywoodsattic.com and this particular flick is at www.hollywoodsattic.com/shopping/pricelist.asp?prid=388. Of possible note is that the heroic superspy in this movie is named Justin Power. No news on whether or not he's an international man of mystery though.

If you're going to ask me to find a flick – and I hope you do – please bear in mind that the more you can tell me, the better. Stars, director, year of release, plot points, etc. are things that help me track down various titles. Some times it's as random as putting "cat staircase fall demon" into Google and hoping for the best; sometimes it's not quite so strange.

Thank you for reading so far, and please feel free to email the web fu master at TelstarMan@yahoo.com if you want a film tracked down. The frequency of this column depends on you, gentle readers. If you aren't looking for anything I certainly can't find it for you.