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Saturday, December 13, 2003
THE FOYWONDER'S SCHLOCK REPORT FOR 12-13-03
Man, talk about a slow news week. Probably going to stay like this until after the holidays too. Oh well, here's something for you to choke on!
World Wrestling Entertainment continues to expand into the world of feature films. In addition to the “modern day Western” starring Triple H and directed by John Milius we reported on not too long ago, word comes from the Hollywood Reporter that WWE Films has purchased an untitled pitch from screenwriter Dan Madigan for a "very intense and very violent" horror film set in the world of pro wrestling. Plot details are being kept secret for now but we do know that it will spotlight a vicious, remorseless killer spawned from the squared circle and said remorseless killer will be portrayed by one of WWE’s most popular wrestlers, most likely one already portrayed as having vicious, remorseless tendencies. More than likely it will turn out to be a vehicle for Stone Cold Steve Austin or Kane or perhaps the Undertaker. Meanwhile, WWE is also helping to develop a pilot for CBS described as a Columbo-style detective series with Mick “Mankind” Foley attached to star. Why do I get the weird feeling that before its all said and done this foray into the highly expensive world of cinema is going to bankrupt this company?
For those that dare, the first trailer for the live action GARFIELD movie is now online. They’ve managed to create a CGI Garfield that looks neither completely realistic nor completely cartoonish and frankly I found it very off-putting. It also doesn’t help that they’re using an actual dog for Odie and someone needs to tell them that Garfield’s mouth never moved when he talked in either the comic strip or the cartoon. You can witness the teaser trailer here and decide for yourself whether this will be another “shitty kitty” or a delicious pan of cinematic lasagna. And in case you don't know, that's Bill Murray as the voice of the orange feline.
Keiko, the killer whale made famous in the FREE WILLY movies is dead. The killer whale died in Norway’s coastal waters where it remained even after millions of dollars and a decade of work failed to coax him back to the open sea. Keiko, who was 27, died Friday afternoon after the sudden onset of pneumonia. I’ve never heard of a whale dying from pneumonia before. I didn't even know they could catch pneumonia. You learn something new everyday.
Yet another reason why the ABC network is losing viewers hand over fist – the Disney owned network announced its developing a half-hour sitcom based on the old Disney movie THE PARENT TRAP that was already remade as a theatrical film a few short years ago. Not to be outdone, the WB is prepping a comedy series to star MC Hammer proving once and for all that the WB really will air anything.
Finally, you can check out my review for SHREDDER, a new direct-to-video slasher movie coming out this week that's almost halfway decent. If nothing else it'll provide a few chuckles. You can read the mostly spoiler free review of it here.
- Scott Foy
posted by Scott 9:58 AM | Comments
Monday, December 08, 2003
A FOYWONDER SPECIAL REPORT FOR 12-08-03
THIS IS A TEST OF THE UWE BOLL EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM!
Despite being lambasted as being the single most inept motion picture in God knows how long to actually get a wide theatrical release, it seems Uwe Boll still doesn’t think HOUSE OF THE DEAD was dopey enough. In a recent interview with VideoStoreMag.com, Boll stated that he already has a script written for HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2 and he also has enough outtakes and extras to fill up an additional DVD and that’s in addition to the loaded special edition DVD coming out in late January. Now get this. Director Boll also said he is contemplating creating an outlandish director’s cut of the two films that would border on parody, given the nature of those extra shots he filmed. So he’s contemplating creating a special edition that’s supposed to be funny as opposed to the unintentional laugh riot it already is? No way could any comical outtakes make HOUSE OF THE DEAD more humorous than it already is!
- Scott Foy
posted by Scott 11:06 AM | Comments
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