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Thursday, October 09, 2003
The FoyWonder Schlock Report for 10/9/2003
Good morning Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea...let's go to press!
STEVEN SEAGAL UPDATE!!! First and foremost, the Z Review reports that the walking humanoid can of cinematic whoop ass that is Steven Seagal is set to begin filming of his epic GENGHIS KHAN biopic in March 2004. Steven Seagal as Genghis Khan…this could be bad movie history in the making. How he got $45 million to make this movie is anyone’s guess but we might as milk it for every potential laugh we can. Seagal also has two more movies set for next year titled INTO THE SUN and GLORY. Wait a minute, was INTO THE SUN a lame early 90’s buddy comedy fighter pilot movie starring Michael Pare and Anthony Michael Hall? And GLORY was a civil war epic about Matthew Broderick leading a platoon of black soldiers. Perhaps this is Seagal’s new strategy of marketing movies under previously used titles so that you’ll think you’re watching the other movie with that title and not a Steven Seagal movie? I don’t think so either. Also, IMDB reports that Seagal also has another movie currently shooting called YAKUZA, which he also co-wrote, about “two powerful defenders of opposing crime families fall in love as they fight against each other in a malicious Mafia war. “ The only acting credits listed are star Seagal and his latest hip-hop co-star Kurupt. No other cast members are listed so I have my fingers crossed that they themselves play the star-crossed lovers because that would be comedic gold.
Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is Governor of California he won’t have time to make TERMINATOR 4. However, the producers still want to make it. According to Dark Horizons, they’re looking at The Rock to potentially fill Arnold’s cybernetic shoes. Wait a minute, didn’t I just report this same rumor last month only it was about PREDATOR 3?
If you’re a fan of swamp monster movies as I am then here’s some news that may please you. Silver Nitrate, an up and coming low budget horror company, is preparing to begin filming on their next horror flick called BAYOU about a 9-foot fish creature terrorizing a bayou. According to Fangoria, BAYOU will be “a gory throwback to the creature features of the ’80s, complete with people getting bitten in half, tiny fish burrowing into bodies and a dark sense of splattery humor running throughout.” The movie will soon begin filming in Alabama so I’m thinking maybe I ought to just drive on over and crash the set. Unfortunately, the movie is to be directed by Mark A.Z. Dippe whose only other directing credit was his disastrous directorial debut on SPAWN. Ugh.
And the number one movie internationally currently is (Drum roll please!) THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN. The film is currently raking in the dough in France, Germany, Russia, Australia and 20 other countries. The #1 movie in France and yet they mock us?
As mentioned last week, the Farrelly Brothers are bringing back the Three Stooges in a new big screen movie. According to the Boston Herald, the brotherly duo hopes to nab Oscar winning actor Benicio Del Toro for the Moe Howard role. And yes that is an odd choice. Speculation is that the Farrelly’s want to cast actors usually seen in more serious films in the roles of the slapstick trio. If that’s the case then let me request Marlon Brando for Curly.
If the rumor TV Guide.com is reporting is true then it seems ABC has lost their minds. When the series 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter returns, the widow of the John Ritter character, played by Katey Sagal, will be joined by her character’s brother rumored to be played by none other than Ed O’ Neil. Yep, Al and Peggy Bundy together again – as brother and sister! I think ABC might be better served to just let the show fade into the sunset instead of trying to salvage it.
Even wackier TV news comes courtesy of Variety as its being reported that Clive Barker and the creators of The Dead Zone TV series are developing a new show for NBC called Demonologist described as a blending of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Hart to Hart. No, really. "'Demonologist,' revolves around a married couple who fight demons -- but are more scared of their 15-year-old daughter." And it’s supposed to be based on an actual married couple that fights demons. No, really. First Teen Wolf and now this. Maybe somebody ought to make a series out of the stinker MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE and bill it as Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Queer as Folk.
Finally, one last reminder that this weekend is the opening of Uwe Boll’s cinematic tour-de-crap HOUSE OF THE DEAD, so damn good they apparently won’t be screening it for critics ahead of time. Gee, I wonder why? Expect to see a review of it from yours truly at Ain’t It Cool News sometime over the weekend.
- Scott Foy
posted by Scott 5:32 AM | Comments
Monday, October 06, 2003
Shaw Bros. conference held in Illinois
Reader Joe Littrell forwarded a link to an article about an interesting international film conference – centered around cult favorites, The Shaw Brothers.
The conference focused on more than 900 films produced over the last 50 years by the Shaw Brothers Studio, run by Shanghai natives Runme and Run Run Shaw.
Poshek Fu, an associate professor in East Asian Languages and Cultures, said the Shaw brothers' movies have the power to bring together people from all over the world.
"There is a mounting interest in globalization in today's world," Fu said. "That is why the Shaw brothers' films are so important; they bridge the gap between cultures."
Read the entire article here.
posted by Christopher 11:41 AM | Comments
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