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Friday, October 03, 2003
The Marvellous Movie Report
Well Scott might have beaten me to the XXX 2 news but I still have plenty more movie news goodness to keep you going.
Its Asian movie remake time again as two more announcements start fuelling speculation. First up, CHUD and elsewhere are reporting that Jennifer Connelly is set to star in a remake of Dark Water, which was directed by Hideo Nakata of Ringu fame. It tells the story of a woman and her young daughter who move into an apartment building which turns out to be haunted by the ghost of a young child. No news yet on which video director they’ll be hiring to ruin it.
The other potential remake is a lot more encouraging however and comes from Monkey Peaches, as Quentin Tarantino has apparently been giving full permission by Shaw Brothers to remake 36th Chamber of Shaolin, widely considered one of the best martial arts films ever created. The film is one of Tarantino’s favourites, and he even hired the original star Gordon Liu Chia-Hui to star in Kill Bill as a Chinese kung fu master. One would hope that someone as big a fan of Hong Kong cinema as Tarantino would be able to do some justice to a remake of this nature, and perhaps when Kill Bill finally comes out we’ll see if he’d be up to it. Unfortunately due to other projects this one could very well have to wait until 2006. Lets hope it doesn’t die in development hell before then.
Hong Kong and Mainland China both recently had new films released based on the SARS crisis. Mainland China got 38 °C, a romantic comedy about a graduate who accidentally ends up entering a hospital that’s been quarantined and is forced to stay in the building with a female flight attendant. Hong Kong’s offering sounds somewhat different in tone however and has the charming title City of SARS, and stars Eric Tsang and Kristy Yeung amongst others. Something tells me this will be of the more wacky, broad humour that Hong Kong films are known for, especially with Tsang’s presence and an appearance from actor/director Chin Kar Lok. I guess some countries just had different ways of dealing with this sort of crisis, eh? It could have been worse, Ebola Syndrome Redux anyone?
CHUD tells us that Christopher Nolan plans on following up his directing Batman: Intimidation Game (HATE that title) with another comic adaptation, this time the relatively unknown The Exec which will scripted by his brother Jonathan. The comic is an extremely violent affair set in ‘the near future’ where big business revolves around armed warfare between the companies and killing as many people as possible, though apparently its not even played as a satire, its deadly serious bloody mayhem. Producer David Heymen says: "It has the elements of the tension Chris created in Memento and Insomnia, but it is also a major-sized film, and it will be useful for Chris and Emma to apply the lessons they are learning in mounting the Batman film." With as much straight violence as the source material is meant to have, it will be interesting to see if they wimp out or go for broke with this.
Surely a plot point in Alien vs. Predator will be that Lance Henriksen’s billionaire industrialist character looks like the android from Aliens because he owns the company that created them which is why he’s filthy rich, and he had them look like him because of a God complex or something.
Fangoria.com tell us that Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman, the director/writer team behind Being John Malkovich and Adaptation have announced they are to develop a horror movie together. Nothing else has been revealed as of yet but Kaufman is currently working on the script, but surely it will be quirky and cutting edge and stuff.
Dark Horizons bears news of Ridley Scott and his possible involvement with another Alien sequel, though the news is not as concrete as one might have hoped for. Scott was been contacted by Fox and Sigourny Weaver about Alien 5 as the desire is there to conclude the series and having the man who started it do the deed. However things are in very early stages of development and says Scott in an interview with DVD Rama: ”But there are not even serious talks. I don't really know what I could do…unless I go back to the questions stated in the first episode. Where does the crashed ship on the planet with this mysterious extra-terrestrial come from ? We could wonder whether massive destruction weapons (which could threaten the Earth) had been used or not. I could be inspired by THE WAR OF THE WORLDS…" Lets hope Ridley is just making up stuff on the spot there, but all the same his involvement could be very interesting considering none of the sequels captured the atmosphere and menace of the original Alien which itself is due for re-release later this month.
Yahoo News reports that the Academy Awards voters will no longer be allowed special advance screeners of the films they will be choosing for nomination. The fear is that the video cassettes and DVDs given out could easily be used to make illegal copies and make their way onto the bootlegging market, taking away vital dollars from the big movie studios. In related news, the Academy announced that they will now be making the awards out of plastic and the presentations will take place in a bingo hall, following a sudden and unexplained drop in funds.
A brilliant piece of news was picked off IMDb Pro by my buddy Rob over at 411 Movies about a woman who recently pleaded guilty to stalking Jennifer Love Hewitt. The star was terrorised by Diana Napolis who hurled threats and accusations at her outside a San Diego radio station, and continued to hound her for months through email and on the telephone before she was arrested last November. The reason for this behaviour? Napolis had convinced herself that Hewitt was in fact plotting to harm her in some way and was reading her mind using “psychotronic technology”. Whether this “psychotronic technology” exists or not is something else entirely, but- but- JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IS THE GREATEST ACTRESS WHO EVER LIVED!!! NNNOOOOOO!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!! AAAARRRRRRRRRG!!!!
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s biggest fan, Martin Leggett
posted by Martin 5:13 PM | Comments
The FoyWonder's Schlock Report for 10-3-2003
Time for a real quick weekend update!
Out with the Diesel and in with the Cube, it’s the guaranteed to suck XX2! According to Variety, Vin Diesel isn’t interested in rushing into a sequel to last year’s XXX but Revolution Studios are insisting on putting a sequel into production ASAP. Long story short, Diesel has now joined original XXX director Rob Cohen in walking away from the project. In steps Ice Cube as the new XXX agent recruited by the National Security Agency. It seems the explanation for the new XXX is that the XXX name refers to a three-strikes rule the NSA employs to give criminals the option of joining the crime-fighting force or going to prison. Sure, whatever. DIE ANOTHER DAY director Lee Tamahori will step in to direct the sequel with Ice Cube battling bad guys in Washington D.C. Supposedly this sequel will emphasize espionage thriller elements over extreme sports action. I got a news flash for the producers of XXX 2, the people who liked the original enough to come back for a sequel that doesn’t even star Vin Diesel are going to be expecting those extreme sports action sequences. Suffice it to say XXX 2 could very well prove to be a disaster for Revolution Studios.
Greg’s Previews at Yahoo! has some news that’s guaranteed to thrill FANTASTIC FOUR fans and I do mean that sarcastically. Fox apparently wants The Human Torch’s powers to "be limited to just lighting his fingers on fire, making his arms a sort of 'human torch” as opposed to his entire body being on fire. Oh, he’ll also be able to control the fire he generates but won’t be able to fly. In other words, they pretty much want to turn him into Pyro from X2. The reason for this is twofold - they believe it would make the character more realistic and it will save them money on special effects. I suspect the latter has more to do with it than anything else when you consider that two of the other members of this superhero team are a big stone guy and a man who can stretch his limbs to incredible lengths. One also has to wonder if they realize just how dopey a guy with just his arms on fire is going to look?
Following up on the report earlier this week about WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 3 going into production very soon, no, I wasn't joking!
With Buffy, The Vampire Slayer history and Angel possibly entering its final season, UPN has picked up the rights to the 80’s Michael J. Fox comedy TEEN WOLF to transform into a Buffy-esque hour-long drama series. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the series will be about a college student who discovers that he's a werewolf and will focus more on supernatural elements and dark comedy. I have no problem coming right out and predicting a quick demise for this series if and when it debuts. For crying out loud, the show is called TEEN WOLF and it already starts with the title character in college! He won’t be a teen for very long, will he? Still, it’s guaranteed to be better than TEEN WOLF TOO and that Saturday morning cartoon version.
Even though the actual launching of the network is still a ways off, the official website for The Horror Channel has already launched. You can visit it as, duh, www.horrorchannel.com and take part in the various polls, surveys, and forums seeking audience input on the direction of the channel.
Finally today, don’t forget that this Saturday night is the Sci-Fi Channel premiere of BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR. God only knows how much butchering, I mean editing they are going to have to do to air this one on broadcast television.
- Scott Foy
posted by Scott 9:04 AM | Comments
Thursday, October 02, 2003
They Lost it at the Movies
Joe Littrell alerts us to this fascinating article about "social guidance" films from yesteryear. Thanks Joe!
posted by Christopher 1:13 PM | Comments
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
The FoyWonder's Schlock Report for 10-1-2003
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea...let's go to press!
It is with deep regret that I begin this update by informing you that somebody in Hollywood, possibly on drugs or just completely out of his or her mind, is actually going to spend millions of dollars to make WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S 3. According to Dark Horizons, you can expect to see Jonathan Silverman, Andrew McCarthy, and Terry Kiser together again, as if they’re really getting better offers anyway. The one-joke premise this time out has the two guys going to Las Vegas for a bachelor party where they end up meeting Bernie's identical twin brother, Ernie, a mafia boss. Naturally, he dies and they have to start lugging him around making out he’s still alive. Oh boy! They’re going to combine the WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S premise with ANALYZE THIS and toss in a bit of VEGAS VACATION for good measure. Oh, there’s just no way this could possibly suck! Filming is set to begin this spring and if this actually gets a theatrical release I’ll be stunned and mortified.
If there is any one summer blockbuster coming out next year that is getting more negative press on the internet before it even begins production it would have to be CATWOMAN. Well, the movie has now begun production and thanks to the Hollywood North Report and Time Magazine we now have all the evidence needed to prove that this thing is going cough up a major hairball in 2004. According to the Hollywood North Report, here’s the premise of the movie that has next to nothing with the Batman franchise or the DC Comics’ character. "In this new adventure Patience Price, a mild mannered graphic artist, is murdered in order to keep her silent about an accidental discovery she made. An ancient myth is played out, when an Egyptian Mao cat, indebted to Patience for saving it's own life, breathes life back into the young woman. Patience is reborn with an independent attitude, carefree behavior and the heightened senses of a cat. Now she must investigate the circumstances behind her murder and learn to accept both parts of herself." I’ll buy that for a dollar! Last time I read something about the film her character was supposed to be a scientist at a cosmetics company. Maybe even the filmmakers can’t make up their minds. Still, if that’s not enough evidence then follow this link to see the first pic of Halle Berry in the new but not improved cat suit that appeared in the new Time Magazine. All I can say is, what the hell is that crap?
Lance Henriksen. We all love him but there’s no denying the man probably couldn’t select a decent movie role at this point if his very life depended on it. His latest misstep appears to be accepting a role in Paul W.S. Anderson’s probably going to suck hard ALIENS VS. PREDATOR flick. So why is this a bad choice? Well, besides being directed by the original Uwe Boll, Paul W.S. Anderson, Henriksen, whose is most famous for having played the android Bishop in two ALIEN movies, will be playing a character in an ALIEN movie that is not Bishop. No, he’ll now be playing the role of a billionaire industrialist who finances an expedition to the Antarctic to uncover an ancient pyramid and insists on joining the scientists on the journey encounters some Aliens and Predators. Oh well, I guess it pays the bills and beat starring in lame ass HELLRAISER sequels.
According to Variety, the Farrelly Brothers, the brotherly duo behind THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, KINGPIN, and SHALLOW HAL, are bringing Moe, Larry, and Curly back to the big screen with an all-new THE THREE STOOGES movie. The Farrelly Brothers already have a script that “contemporizes” the characters originated by Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Jerome “Curly” Howard and plan for a summer 2005 release. I really see this being a disaster if for no other reason than I just can’t see myself wanting to watch the Three Stooges doing fart jokes and gross-out gags and let’s face it, that’s what the Farrelly Brothers are all about.
At least modernizing the Three Stooges isn’t nearly as bad an idea as making a modern-day “urbanized” version of the TV classic THE HONEYMOONERS. Paramount has hired screenwriter Donald Rhymer, who previously wrote Martin Laurence’s all-time masterpiece BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE, to re-write the HONEYMOONERS script with only one thing in mind – make it cheaper. Since the “urban” audience didn’t turn out in droves for THE FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS, Paramount has gotten skittish about spending any real money on this and now wants a flick that cost under $10 million. How about just realizing what an awful idea this is to begin with a not making it at all? That’ll save you plenty of money!
According to Moviehole, Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions will produce FAT MAN, about an 800-pound man who drops 600 pounds with the help of a nurse he finds more appealing than a Happy Meal. I think we all now know what Rob Schneider’s next painfully unfunny movie is going to be.
According to Dark Horizons, the folks responsible for the upcoming TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake also have the rights to Wes Craven’s cult classic THE HILLS HAVE EYES and are eyeing a remake answering this week’s million dollar question as to whether or not there are any fresh ideas left in Hollywood. Nope!
Bloody Disgusting has the first review for the sequel you’re all dying for, LEPRECHAUN: BACK 2 THA HOOD. You can read it here if you must. The fact that the reviewer recommends smoking pot before watching the movie seems telling as to the film’s dubious quality.
Also at Bloody Disgusting right now is information on how you can help KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE 2 get made. Find out how here.
The poll at HalloweenMovies.com asking whether or not you wanted to see a Michael Myers vs. Pinhead match-up is over. 55% said “No.” No word as of yet as to whether or not anyone at Dimension will actually pay any attention to the poll.
Finally today, the first teaser trailer is up for GODZILLA-MOTHRA-MECHAGODZILLA: TOKYO SOS Unlike previous Godzilla teaser trailers, this one isn’t just comprised of stock footage from previous movie. Neat trailer albeit very, very tiny. You can see it here.
- Scott Foy
posted by Scott 10:51 AM | Comments
Rue Morgue's 6th Anniversary Halloween Party
Rue Morgue magazine presents: Circus of the Grotesque, their 6th Anniversary Halloween Party, on October 24, 2003 at The Church at Berkeley in Ontario, Canada. Doors open at 8 p.m., admission is $15 Canadian. Visit Rue Morgue's web site for ticket purchase info and further details.
posted by Christopher 5:14 AM | Comments
Monday, September 29, 2003
The Marvellous Movie Report
What is up, my ninjas?
In case you’ve been hiding under some sort of virtual rock, the news cannot have escaped you that Warner have put the trailer for The Matrix Revolutions online. It would be a little premature to read too much into what the trailer shows us (we’ve all been burned by trailers in the past, right?) but the trailer is certainly extremely intriguing, though its too early to say whether this will end up being less talky and complicated than the last one. Those elements of Reloaded didn’t bother me at all however so I’ll be going to see this regardless. The trailers can be found in various sizes right here and its worth taking a peek, even though it took ages to download on my pitiful dial-up connection the picture quality is great even on the small version.
Delicious news from Hong Kong via Monkey Peaches (I love Monkey Peaches) regarding Johnnie To’s next project, now that his new comedy Running on Karma has premiered over there. Having been very pleased with the reception his excellent thriller PTU received, he is going back to the dark, quirky films that he made his name with once again. Wen Que will star Simon Yam (PTU, Naked Killer) as a small time pick pocket. About the movie To said “[I] have made many movies about big criminals, but not one about small crooks. This time [I] will add lots of interesting elements into the story about the small crook, and it won’t be a mainstream commercial movie.” Simon Yam has also commented on his character, saying “a pocket picker will always be a pocket picker, no matter how wealthy he is. An old habit is hard to drop.” Excuse me while I do a Happy Snoopy Dance.
CHUD, amongst others, reports that it has been confirmed that The Rock, fresh from the latest #1 at the American box office The Rundown and currently putting the finishing touches to the new version of Walking Tall will indeed star in a Hollywood adaptation of the Spy Hunter games. He will be an ex-fighter pilot in possession of a fancy futuristic car with numerous gadgets and weapons, on the tail of some former espionage agents, gone bad. Suppose it could have been worse, he could have been a bare knuckle fist fighter and also the world’s leading expert on land mines. Could be fun, but one does have to wonder why they’re even bothering buying the Spy Hunter licence, considering the age of the original and the fact that the recent conversion to the latest games consoles didn’t exactly set the world on fire, when really this is just going to a Bond-style movie we've seen played out many times already. No director has been announced yet, but if they don’t sneak an old Spy Hunter arcade machine into the background somewhere during the movie they’re going to be in trouble. Also with all these film projects don’t hold your breath waiting for The Rock to be returning to the wrestling ring any time soon although I expect the chances of him wrestling at Wrestlemania XX next year are pretty good.
Creature Corner tells us that when shooting re-starts on the totally doomed Wes Craven werewolf flick Cursed, Rick Baker walking out on the project will not make as much difference as anticipated according to Craven: “We’re going to update the script based on things we learned [about werewolf effects] using the combination of CGI and a physical werewolf by Rick Baker.” Basically Rick Baker left but he can go to hell coz' they're still using his stuff and they're adding the magic of computer graphics to the mix. Ho Hum. One thing I decided when watching Underworld the other week is that if ever a creature needed to be rendered in animatronics and costumes, it’s the werewolf. This is promising to be a real stinker what with all the studio interference and we’re going to have dreadfully uneven creature affects as there is no way you can combine real physical models and computer graphics without it looking crap. Haven’t these people heard of cutting their losses? Looking at the cast list on IMDb is a surreal experience – Mandy Moore, Corey Feldman and Scott Baio as themselves?! Is this a horror movie or a telethon?
Fangoria.com is reporting that the gorgeous Monica Bellucci (Brotherhood of the Wolf, Irreversible) has joined the cast for Terry Gilliam’s upcoming The Brothers Grimm. She will be a character in the style of Elizabeth Bathory mould (think Countess Dracula), the evil queen of a haunted forest who must extract the blood of virgins in order to forever maintain her beauty. If Terry can tell me where to send the virgins I’m willing to do my bit for this most deserving cause.
Tony Ching Siu-Tung recently suffered an injury on set of Shin Mian Mai Fu (Ambush From Ten Directions) for which he is serving as action director. Monkey Peaches reports that he was accidentally stabbed in the cheek by Takeshi Kaneshiro, one of the main stars who apparently isn’t very experienced in performing this sort of action, I would never have guessed. Luckily the injury wasn’t too serious and required only a few stitches. Action directin’ ain’t easy!
Monkey Peaches also brings us the news that after being suspended due to the SARS crisis, the upcoming comic adaptation Shen Bing (to be called The Sword Searchers in English, but I prefer the literal translation Divine Weapons will start filming again in April. Why such a delay? Well Nicholas Tse is starring and Tony Ching Siu-Tung is directing, and they’re currently working on New Police Story and the previously mentioned Ambush From Ten Directions. Based on the Hong Kong comic Shen Bing Qi Xuan it could very well do some good business as seen by the recent Andrew Lau films The Stormriders and A Man Called Hero both performed very well at the Hong Kong box office, the former even soundly thrashing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon there. This has promise as Ching Siu-Tung has rescued some otherwise pretty dire films, he made Naked Weapon fun thanks to some expert filming and action direction even though the writing and acting were utterly dreadful.
From BBC Film News, the American Film Institute recently gave out their first ever Charlton Heston Award to..... Charlton Heston. The award is for exceptional achievement in the sphere of acting and Heston is well deserving of the award. Special consideration was also given to Heston’s involvement with the AFI (that’s the American Film Institute, not the goth punk band) itself, as he served as both chairman from 1971 – 82, and as president from 1983 – 2002. The AFI says it will give out the award periodically whenever a suitable winner is found, most probably when they find another actor called Charlton Heston.
Keep watching the skies...
Martin Leggett Award Winner, Martin Leggett
posted by Martin 7:03 AM | Comments
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