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Friday, July 11, 2003
Sci Fi Channel unveils new film slate for next season
If you've watched any of the Sci Fi Channel's original movies, you know they can be hit-or-miss, especially if they're not based on proven source material. (Even Riverworld, which I liked, was not a big hit.) Generally made with low budgets and modest scripts, the movies usually capitalize on popular themes and concepts in the larger world of current science fiction. It is with some trepidation, therefore, that we re-print some of Sci-Fi's descriptions of their upcoming slate of films for the 2004-2005 season.
Among the 22 original movies slated for next year:
Dead Rail. A detective on board a bullet train on its inaugural run to Las Vegas must overcome his haunted past to destroy hostile aliens. Written by Brian Smith, founder of SCIFI.COM's Seeing Ear Theatre, and produced by Glow Worm.
Darklight. Lilith, a superhuman warrior cursed with immortality, must battle an escaped genetically engineered creature carrying a deadly virus. Directed by Bill Platt, former development executive for the SCI FI Channel's Exposure. Production begins in Sofia, Bulgaria, with UFO Films in July.
Chupacabra. The mythical beast is captured and smuggled aboard a cruise ship en route to America, but escapes, and Navy SEALs are brought in to destroy the monster. Produced by Regent Films.
Raptor Island. Raptors are discovered on a remote island when an elite team journeys deep into the jungle to rescue a kidnapped scientist. Produced by 100% Entertainment.
Mansquito. A scientist trying to find a cure for the West Nile Virus accidentally transforms herself and a junkie into mutant mosquito creatures. Produced by Nu Image.
Alien Blood. An alien army invades Earth, demanding the sacrifice of 1 million humans, and a small band of human prisoners rebels. Produced by UFO Films.
Larva. A dirty meat-packing company sells meat contaminated with larvae, and the larvae begin to growing inside the customers. Produced by Nu Image.
Hammerhead. While working on stem-cell research, a scientist transforms his subject into a mutant shark-beast. Produced by Nu Image.
posted by Christopher 2:27 PM | Comments
Monday, July 07, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for July 7, 2003
Lots and lots and lots of news to catch up on so buckle up because here we go!
Ashton Kutcher will not be playing Batman. I just thought I’d get this update off to a good start. An anonymous tipster told the usually reliable Batman of Film website that director Chris Nolan didn’t want Kutcher because he felt the DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?, That 70’s Show, Punk’d star carried too much baggage and that he wanted someone who could act mature. Quoting the anonymous tipster, "When Nolan told Ashton's camp he needed to be more mature, he didn't mean to grab an older more respected actress in Hollywood and try to "date" her. The Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher "romance" is a publicity stunt, one which will not score Kutcher the part in the new Batman Flick." Ouch! Although probably true. The scooper went on to add that Christopher Lloyd has been cast as The Scarecrow and Michael Gough as Alfred will be the only returning actor from the previous BATMAN flicks.
Moviehole has the scoop on the sequel we’re all dying for – ANACONDA 2. One of the film’s writers gave Moviehole an exclusive regarding the movie’s plot. "The story is essentially a good old fashioned jungle adventure about a scientific expedition (the charismatic but unethical scientist, his greedy and often cowardly business partner, the good and highly ethical girl scientist named 'Sam,' and the handsome but crusty and always brave jungle guide, her unlikely romantic interest, who apparently now also has a pet monkey... and why not?) that travels to the darkest jungles of Borneo (although they are now filming in Fiji) in pursuit of a rare black orchid that blooms only once every seven years and just might, maybe, could hold the secret to immortality (or at least living a lot longer) and is therefore worth more than Viagra to the pharmaceutical company sponsoring the expedition. When the snakes aren't present, human greed, ambition and murder hold the stage. And when the snakes start showing up, well, what the black orchid is really good for, it would seem, is turning big snakes into really, really huge snakes since, as we all know, Anacondas never stop growing, and the longer they live, the bigger they get and the more people they can eat in this sort of old fashioned jungle adventure.” Personally, I hated the original but this just sounds fantastically cheesy.
Kelly Osbourne, who can’t seem to get her music career off the ground no matter how much she latches onto her daddy’s coattails, is looking to cross over to film by starring in MALICE IN WONDERLAND, a modernized retelling of ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Just the fact that somebody is willing to blow big bucks to try and turn her into a movie star is enough to make me want to jump down a rabbit hole myself.
DALLAS: THE MOVIE is coming whether we want it to or not. So who is going to play JR? Well, last time I mentioned this project the name John Travolta was being bounced about. Fortunately, that’s in the past. Now the two names being are, according to Z Review, Tommy Lee Jones, and, according to an Australian newspaper the top contender, Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis as JR? I don’t know about that. Others being discussed are Colin Farrel as Bobby Ewing and Jessica Lange as Sue Ellen. Is it just me or does this cast seem way too A-list for a film that couldn’t possibly be anything better than camp trash? This has got to be some producer’s fantasy wish list.
Another game is coming to the big screen although this time it’s a role-playing game. To be specific, RIFTS: THE MOVIE is in development. The theatrical version of the multidimensional RPG will be brought to us by the combination of Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer, the same duo behind this week’s PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. According to “Rifts” creator Kevin Siembieda, he intends to make sure that the $100 million production doesn’t go the route of the disastrous D&D movie. Right, like he’s going to have that much say in a movie being produced by Disney and Bruckheimer. Call me when they greenlight a “Gammamarauders” movie.
Remember Christian Slater? Yeah, it has been awhile since we heard that name mentioned. Well, he’s poised for a comeback although his comeback vehicle may end up leaving him permanently in Corey Feldman territory. Slater will star in the big screen version of the video game ALONE IN THE DARK. The movie is directed by Uwe Boll, who has already delved into the video game genre with his HOUSE OF THE DEAD movie that is reported to be a surefire candidate for worst movie of the year. In fact, I’ve seen a few reviews that even went so far as to call it one of the worst movies ever. We’ll find out for ourselves when HOUSE OF THE DEAD opens in theaters on September 12th. Yeah, despite seemingly unanimous word of mouth the film is still getting a wide release. As for ALONE IN THE DARK, director Boll says it will be “like X-Files meets SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.” Uh oh! This from the guy whose HOUSE OF THE DEAD movie doesn’t even have the house!
Anyone reading who owns a Gamecube played a game called ETERNAL DARKNESS? Well, it’s the latest video game to have its rights gobbled up with the possibility of a feature film or TV show. I have no comment because I’m a PS2 man myself and know nothing about the game.
It seems the people working on THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER thinks it may actually turn out to be a pretty good movie. Moviehole quotes and insider saying this about star Edward Furlong, “Eddie looks great in the make up”. He should seeing as how he’s been clinically dead once before. Hopefully Furlong has finally kicked his personal demons.
According to JoBlo, the duo who wrote this weeks LEAGUE OF EXTRODINARY GENTLEMEN movie have been hired to write the screenplay Hollywood’s live action AKIRA movie. I mention this here because not only is the prospect of a live action, Hollywood produced AKIRA is a horrendous idea but because the word of mouth right now on LXG is very, very bad. I mean AVENGERS bad. Granted that movie has had all sorts of behind-the-scenes problems mostly involving power struggles between the studio, the director, and star Sean Connery but it seems the mess of a script factors heavily into the film’s negative equation. We’ll know for sure this weekend.
We can remove Jonathan Frakes from the SUPERMAN director’s chair. Seems the rumor was just that because Frakes was both surprised and clueless when an UK radio show asked him about it. Apparently that was the first he’d heard of it. I’ll say it again. Warner Brothers just needs to hang up Superman’s cape and not even bother.
And your latest senseless remake is…THE CHANGELING. Apparently the success of THE RING and other ghost-related movies has made 24-year old George C. Scott ghost movie seem like a ripe property waiting to be plucked again. So how long until some Hollywood producer “rediscovers” THE ENTITY?
Your weird news item for the week is definitely a strange one. Werner Herzog, the highly acclaimed and highly pretentious (as many claim) European filmmaker/documentarian is making a documentary about of all things the Loch Ness Monster called THE ENIGMA OF LOCH NESS. I have no idea what to think of this. It will definitely be the most artistic episode of In Search Of ever!
Has Michael Bay lost his mind? BAD BOYS 2 clocks in at 150 minutes. That’s two and a half-hours for those of you who don’t know better. BAD BOYS 2 is longer than MATRIX: RELOADED and HULK. In a summer where the big action films aren’t quite performing as well as expected it will be interesting to see if 150 minutes of Will Smith and Martin Laurence wisecracking and gun fighting.
Don Dohler, director of such pure schlock as THE ALIEN FACTOR, NIGHT BEAST, and (my favorite) GALAXY INVADER, has a new film in the works about (What else?) an alien on the loose and on a rampage. Entitled CRAWLER, the film deals with a rampaging alien and such real-life UFO phenomenon as cattle mutilations and Project Bluebook. Dohler himself won’t actually direct the film leaving those duties to his Timewarp Films partner Joe Ripple. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the alien crawls a lot.
Want a surefire sign that the Star Trek franchise is in big trouble? According to Trek Today, video game publisher Activision has announced it is pulling out of its contract with Viacom (who owns Paramount) and is suing them for damages caused by the declining value of the Star Trek franchise. I think that speaks volumes as to how far down it’s all gone.
Here’s your funny quote of the week comes from a statement Lucy Liu made in the Australian newspaper The Herald Sun. “I don’t think there’s going to be a sequel to BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER.” So does this mean that there are actually people out there who thought there might be on?
A short while back I reported on OUT FOR A KILL, the new direct-to-video Steven Seagal film where he plays an archeologist battling Chinese mobsters. Well, someone calling himself Vern has seen it and hailed it a laugh riot. Read the hilarious Ain’t It Cool News review.
If you’re still in need for a laugh and don’t have sensitive ears then check out this obscenity filled rant by CHUD’s Smilin’ Jack Ruby about three romantic comedy scripts that have been picked up by the big studios. They really do sound God-awful.
Finally, it’s time to toot my own horn again. First of all, for those of you who love your man vs. animal movies, I wrote up an article at Creature Corner detailing the full slate of nature run amok movies coming out before the end of the year. The last six months will be quite busy. Also, my first new official online column at the Schlocktoberfest site went live over the weekend. It should be of special interest to fans of Japanese monster movies as it deals with a couple of ultra rare and ultra screwy Hong Kong and Japanese daikaiju movies including the must-be-seen-to-be-believed THUNDER OF GIGANTIC SERPENT.
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 2:10 PM | Comments
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