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Friday, June 06, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for June 6, 2003
Time for a quick update to keep you warned and informed for the weekend!
It appears mankind will be getting a stay of execution if only for a week as it seems FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY has been pushed back a week. The end of civilization as we know it will now open nationwide on June 20th.
Because one of the first things taught in Cliched Action Movie Scriptwriting 101 is that the hero must have a wisecracking sidekick, Mr. JACKASS Johnny Knoxville has signed on to play just that opposite The Rock in WALKING TALL. Just one more reason to expect this movie to blow beyond comprehension.
CHUD reports that Artisan has picked up HOUSE OF THE DEAD for a possible theatrical but more likely direct-to-video release. Still, just the fact that somebody has paid money for this movie that is said to be reprehensibly bad on every level of filmmaking is quite a surprise.
The Olson Twins upcoming action movie NEW YORK MINUTE, which is set in the Big Apple, will actually be filmed in Toronto this July. The sad thing is it will probably give a better performance too.
Two more TV shows may be heading to the big screen, well at least one of them. Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane tells Variety that the Season One DVD sales and rerun ratings on Cartoon Network for the cancelled animated comedy are so strong that a direct-to-DVD animated FAMILY GUY feature film is in the works. I’ll believe it when I see it. Now how many of you remember a short-lived ABC comedy called Sledge Hammer!, which was about a bumbling Dirty Harry-style cop? Well, the cult series has a new official website at www.sledgehammeronline.com and a feature film version in development as we speak. Something tells me David Rasche won’t be asked back to reprise the character.
The Hollywood Reporter is saying that McG may once again have found himself in the director’s chair for SUPERMAN. You know what? I just don’t care anymore.
Another day, another comic book superhero heads for the silver screen. The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Columbia has picked up the rights to Marvel Comic’s superhero Luke Cage aka Power Man. The African-American superhero is incredibly powerful (hence the moniker Power Man) and has bulletproof skin. Since he’s black, this at least guarantees that Nic Cage won’t be attached to the project. Funny thing is, I remember hearing LL Cool J talking about starring in a movie based on this character years ago. I wonder if we’ll actually see this one in theaters before that long in development hell movie based on his ex-partner in crimefighting, Iron Fist. Maybe they should just kill two birds with one stone and make a POWER MAN AND IRON FIST movie instead?
Following up on a story from the other day, word is the current script for the DEATHLOK movie is so far removed from the actual Marvel Comics version of the character that one wonders why they even bothered at all.
Also, to add to the blurb the other day about the impending DEVIL MAY CRY movies. The video game centers on a half-demon private eye named Dante who does battle with the forces of evil in some huge gothic castle but there’s no word yet on how faithful the movie will be. Gaga Communications, who are already working on an ONIMUSHA movie, don’t even plan for the $40 million movie to begin production until sometime in 2005 allowing plenty of time preproduction and design work. Hate to be the barer of bad news, but waiting that long also gives the property to go from hot to freezing cold. There’s actually a good reason why Hollywood tends to rush these films through production.
Speaking of video games, Jack Black is set to star in a new comedy entitled RAD BRAD, MODERN WARRIOR about “the world’s greatest video game player.” With that premise and him in the title role I was thinking that this could be a funny movie but then I read that the screenwriter is the same guy responsible for DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? and that pretty much killed my interest.
The Sci-Fi Channel has ordered 9 more episodes of Scare Tactics. Chadzilla should be thrilled to hear that.
Finally today, some news I’m really excited to report. SNAKEHEAD TERROR has a cast! The $2 million Sci-Fi Channel production about growth-hormones in the water spawning land-roving, man-eating, monster fish that come out of lakes and (DUH!) eat people has a cast truly befitting the Sci-Fi Channel. The potential fish food includes Bruce "From Babylon 5 to the PAX Network” Boxleitner, model/actress/star of that awful series Amazon Carol Alt, and the X-Files “Cigarette Smoking Man himself, William B. Davis. Yep, this sounds like a real winner. Can’t wait!
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 11:33 AM | Comments
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for June 4, 2003
Good afternoon, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press!
So how bad off is Jean Claude Van Damme’s career? Well, rumor has it that STREET FIGHTER 2 may end up having just been wishful thinking on his part and now word comes that he’s considering appearing as a celebrity contestant on the French version of the reality series/game show Big Brother. Van Damme will make a reported $50,000 for his appearance and if this is something he’s seriously considering than one can only speculate that he must really need the cash badly.
Yet another needless remake is on the way in the form of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13. The original was about a nearly abandoned police station that is placed under seige by a revenge-minded street gang forcing the cops and criminals inside to join forces to survive. According to Variety, John Carpenter, who made the original, will be at the helm of this remake as well. Sadly, I think that says an awful lot about the state of his career.
Add DEATHLOK to the ever-growing number of comic book movies in the works. According to FilmForce, DIE ANOTHER DAY director Lee Tamahori is the frontrunner to direct. Marvel’s Deathlok is an ex-special forces soldier who is critically injured but wakes up to find out that he is now a cyborg. The character really isn’t anything special and a movie seems completely unwarranted. A film about this character removed from the other elements of the Marvel universe will just end up being a combination of UNIVERSAL SOLDIER and SOLO and that’s not a good thing!
Also in comic book movie news, Jessica Simpson has supposedly been telling people that she has a movie in development that would have her playing a comic book heroine but has yet to be specific about which one. Well, the head of Marvel did say there wouldn’t be a Dazzler movie so I’m stumped.
Add DEVIL MAY CRY to the ever-growing list of video game movies. I’m amazed it took this long for Hollywood to get around to it.
Yet another song is being transformed into a movie. This time the song in question is TRAVELIN’ SOLDIER by those Bush-hatin’, country-croonin’ songbirds, The Dixie Chicks. The script is already finished and is currently looking for a distribution deal. The story follows a man who meets the love of his life on the last day before he gets shipped off to Vietnam and yet goes into battle thinking of her - but will she wait for him. Oh joy, a big screen Lifetime Network movie!
A wealthy playboy and sports memorabilia collector is dating a single mother. When she gets stranded in New York, he must chauffeur her two precocious kids to meet up with her on New Year’s Eve. Uh oh, the brats hate everyone mom dates and proceed to make the trip hell, but in a funny way. You know? Like the same way that Ed O’Neil movie with this similar premise, DUTCH, was funny. Of course I’m being sarcastic! None the less, that’s the tired premise of ARE WE THERE YET?, the new comedy from the auteur behind SNOW DOGS, PROBLEM CHILD 3, and THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS. And who will play the playboy, you ask? I guess Cuba Gooding Jr. wasn’t available so they got Ice Cube instead. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Ice Cube is currently rewriting the script because it probably didn’t have enough fart gags and gay jokes in it. Don’t say nobody warned you in advance about this one.
Ryuhei Kitamura, the maker of the Japanese cult hit VERSUS, has a new sci-fi action film called ALIVE set to open in Japan soon. The web site is up, complete with a trailer for the flick. Definitely worth a look.
Japanese production company Toei is said to be planning a live action DEVILMAN movie for next Christmas. This hasn’t been confirmed yet. If it is true I can’t help but to wonder whether the movie will be based on the more recent gore-filled anime or the more family friendly anime version from the 70s?
Word going around is that NBC is looking to revive and revamp their popular 80’s alien-invasion mini-series V. Apparently TV Guide will have info on it in the coming weeks.
Do you think you’re worthy enough to be the next Power Ranger? Head over to www.screenfaces.com to audition. Isn’t it time to put this show out to pasture anyway? They’ve long since past being passé.
I’ve come across some interesting tidbits about a couple of upcoming direct-to-video movies to tell you about. Former Naughty By Nature rapper Treach will be starring in EL CHUPACABRA, which I reported on the other week. Currently in preproduction is a horror movie to be called 13 DEAD MEN. No word on the actual plot but any movie that pair’s rapper Mystikal with crapper Lorenzo Lamas is worth keeping an eye out for. Finally, JUNIOR will be unleashed on video stores August 19th. The plot sounded very similar to the WRONG TURN but with only two potential victims, one horrible mutant killer, and a virtually non-existent budget. So I immediately looked it up on IMDB under its original title of ENGINE TROUBLE. Seems the movie was made in the Netherlands last year, which is why one person who has already seen it described the movie as “Plan 9 From Belgium.” Looks like we may have a new “so bad it’s good” movie on our hands. And for true gluttons of punishment, HITCHER II: I’VE BEEN WAITING, starring C. Thomas Howell, Jake Busey, and Kari Wuhrer, and possibly directed by Louis “CARNOSAUR 2/BATS” Morneau, arrives in video stores on July 15th.
How badly do you want to get into Eliza Dushku’s pants? Well, the current bidding price is $636.26. The prop department for the movie WRONG TURN is auctioning off several items used in the movie on Ebay including Miss Dushku’s bloody t-shirt/pants from the film. The auctions will be ending over the next 24 hours so you’d better hurry if you want to bid assuming you actually give a damn about anything associated with that mediocre movie.
And just for the hell of it, here’s a link to what’s probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen auctioned on Ebay – a ghost in a jar! Awfully pricey for a poltergeist if you ask me. Whether its real or real or fake, buyer’s beware!
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 1:51 PM | Comments
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