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Saturday, May 17, 2003
Disney plans to introduce "self destructing" DVDs
This Wired News article has the details, but essentially the discs have a chemical agent that makes them unusable two days after they are removed from their airtight packaging. Disney hopes that, because they can sell the discs anywhere and not worry about getting them back, they'll be able to create a new rental market. It's a clever idea, but I dislike the further proliferation of our disposable culture.
posted by Christopher 6:40 AM | Comments
Friday, May 16, 2003
Foywonder's News Roundup for May 16, 2003
Here’s a quick Friday update with some news that should ruin your weekend.
As many of you have probably heard already, Justin Timberlake is rumored to be playing Jimmy Olsen in SUPERMAN assuming it ever actually gets made. Well, it turns out that may not in fact be the case. In fact, if this next part is true then it’s a million times worse. Timberlake was on an U.K. radio show where he confirmed that he has received the script for SUPERMAN but Jimmy Olsen is not the part he was offered. HE CLAIMS WARNER BROTHERS HAS OFFERED HIM THE ROLE OF THE MAN OF STEEL HIMSELF!!! One can only hope he was joking because otherwise…I just don’t want to think about this. If this is true then some very powerful people at Warner Brothers need to be beaten senseless immediately.
Hulk bad!??! According to E! Online’s Anderson Jones, Universal test screened THE HULK and it totally bombed. Universal execs were left speechless by the negative reactions to the film and are now in full panic mode. Director Ang Lee had said from the beginning that his HULK movie would be an examination of our repressed selves and the release of our unchecked rage in the form of a gargantuan green juggernaut as opposed to being just another superhero movie. It seems that’s exactly what Ang Lee did but the test audience deemed it “long and boring.” So the hard to please fanboys scream about the Hulk looking too CGI fakey and now preview audiences are saying the story is too dull. Or as one Universal exec put it, "It's like he combined THE ICE STORM with SHREK." Normally this would be the part where I make cracks about what a colossal green turd this is going to be but for some reason I’m not completely sold yet that the film is truly a stinker. I keep getting this vibe that says HULK is going to turn out to be a really good movie after all but was just too smart for the typical summer audience who just want mindless action and comedy. Heck, many are already bitching about all the pseudo philosophy in MATRIX: RELOADED so just imagine how many of them would react to what Ang Lee has apparently done. Guess we’ll find out for sure when THE HULK opens in June.
Dark Horizons reports that The Shield’s Michael Chiklis is being talked to for the role of Ben Grimm/The Thing in THE FANTASTIC FOUR. Unfortunately, the film’s director, Peyton Reed, continues to talk up doing the movie in a campy style. He told E! Online that the most recent draft of the script was set in the 60s and was more in the vein of The Beatle’s A HARD DAYS NIGHT as it dealt almost exclusively with the hardships of being a famous superhero. Fortunately a brand new script is being written but Reed insists elements of that other draft will be used in the new one. And yet THE HULK is getting trashed because it didn’t try to be dumb and silly?
Fans of the cinematic works of Cannon Films will be thrilled to know that Golan, sans Globus, is at the Cannes Film Festival hocking his latest productions, SUPER NINJA and FINAL COMBAT. Virtually no info is known about these two other that Menham Golan describing FINAL COMBAT as being a “BLOODSPORT clone.” I can’t wait. The world needs more Michael Dudikoffs!
Director/Cinematic Whipping Boy Michael Bay told MTV that he’s stoked about the possibility of making a BAD BOYS 3 and is just waiting to see how the second one does when it opens in July. As hard as it is to believe, word of mouth on BAD BOYS 2 is thus far very positive. Hard to believe that word of mouth on anything starring Martin Laurence could be positive, huh?
For years fans of the cult series The Prisoner have been longing for a movie version. Well, looks like they are about to get what they wanted but I don’t think they will be too happy with what they get. Filmforce broke the news after coming across it on the 4filmmakers website that 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS co-star Tyrese Gibson is up for role of Number 6 made famous by Patrick MacGoohan. Seems the studio is looking to Tyrese to help sell the cerebral spy thriller to the MTV and “urban” audience. Also not helping matters is the fact that TOMB RAIDER helmer Simon West is on board to direct. Once again it looks like Hollywood has found a way to screw something up royally.
It’s official! Pretty soon we will all get to MEET THE FOCKERS. A sequel to the surprise hit MEET THE PARENTS has been officially greenlit and will most likely begin shooting early next year. The sequel will bring back the main players from the original, only this time they all go to meet Ben Stiller’s parents, who will reportedly be played by Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, who also happen to be Ben Stiller’s real life parents. Gee, I wonder how they got that gig?
The British press, always a great source for wild, unsubstantiated, entertainment rumors, have a new one that should amuse some and horrify others. Believe it or not, a biopic on The Village People is reportedly in the works and British singer Robbie Williams has been offered the role of “the Gay Cowboy.” Somebody please stop the music!
Finally, as has been reported previously, Robert Stack passed away the other day from a heart attack at the ripe, old age of 84. Stack will always have a place in bad movie history since he played the role of the villainous snob in CADDYSHACK 2, without question one of the worst sequels of all time.
- Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 6:47 AM | Comments
Thursday, May 15, 2003
R.I.P. Robert Stack
CNN reports that screen legend Robert Stack died yesterday of heart failure. Stack was best known as crimefighter Eliot Ness in the original Untouchables TV series, but had a wide range of screen roles, including a famous stint as host of Unsolved Mysteries. The actor's movie credits include Bwana Devil, Transformers: The Movie, Airplane!, and (a personal favorite) Joe Versus the Volcano. Stack was 84.
posted by Christopher 11:51 AM | Comments
Foy Wonder's News Roundup for May 15, 2003
Good afternoon, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press! I’ve got some catching up to do!
We start off the news with two bits of info fresh from the Cannes Film Festival that just got under way on the Freedom (I’ll be damned if I call it French) Riviera. Dino De Laurentiis is a producer desperately in need of a cash cow. Since that potential KULL THE CONQUEROR franchise fizzled before it ever even generated a spark, he’s been desperately in search of a hit. In fact, the only thing he’s produced in the past decade that’s really had any success has been the Hannibal Lecter trilogy. Well, that trilogy is about to become a quatro because there’s another one on the way. Dino announced at Cannes the other day that a new Hannibal the Cannibal movie is in the works. Entitled THE LECTER VARIATIONS, this prequel to RED DRAGON, which itself was a prequel to SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, will follow the exploits of a roughly 25-year old Lecter back in his native Lithuania before he ever came to the States. Obviously they don’t anticipate getting Anthony Hopkins back on board. About the only thing that keeps one from completely crapping on this project is the fact that series’ creator Thomas Harris is penning the screenplay. Hey, if this one is a hit then maybe they could make another one when he was even younger and come to find out that he started out in life as Stewie from Family Guy.
Also coming out of Cannes is word that Jean Claude Van Damme’s film career has been taken off life support and upgraded to critical. It seems the Muscles from Brussels has signed a three picture deal with Bauer Martinez Studios, whoever the hell they are. His first flick under his new deal will be something called COVER PLAY, which is being described as DIE HARD in a casino with Van Damme as the security guard who has to stop the bad guys. Two thing here. First of all, aren’t DIE HARD knock-offs pretty much passé at this point? Secondly, didn’t he already do one called SUDDEN DEATH, which was DIE HARD at the Stanley Cup Finals with Van Damme as the ex-fireman who has to stop the bad guys? Anyway, once COVER PLAY craps out he will begin work on something else called AFTER DEATH, which is being directed by Hong Kong action director Ringo Lam, who previously directed him in the stinkers MAXIMUM RISK and KNOCK OFF. Ironically, those two movies are the ones that essentially sent Van Damme’s film career direct to video. Something tells me this big screen comeback will be short lived assuming they even make it to the big screen. I mean, a title like COVER PLAY just screams made-for-video, don’t you think?
In comic book movie casting news, two heroes appear to have found their villains. Looks like Jon Voight will be playing GHOST RIDER’s nemesis if and when the Nic Cage vehicle gets off the ground. Just which nemesis of the flaming skull he will be playing remains unknown at this time? In much more ominous news, THE PUNISHER has a villain. Unfortunately, it’s Danny Zuko! Yep, John Travolta has signed on to play the baddie opposite Thomas Jane’s Punisher. Even more distressing is Variety’s basic synopsis of the film. "THE PUNISHER is the tale of an FBI undercover agent who, just as he's completed his last mission that will lead to a cushy desk job, sees his family slaughtered. He becomes single-mindedly determined to exact revenge. Travolta plays Howard Saint, a former underworld figure who goes straight but returns to old habits after his son is slain. The two men square off against one another.” Call me cynical but I have a bad feeling about this movie. I suspect the Travolta character will get far, far too much screen time and may actually end up overshadowing the title character since both characters have similar traits. Also, I don’t think Travolta has been incapable of not camping up his villainous performances since FACE-OFF. We’ll find out next year when the movie opens.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY BATMOBILE? Rumors are running rampant that the reason Ashton Kutcher passed on SUPERMAN and KNIGHT RIDER is because Warner Brothers wants him to play the Caped Crusader if and when they get the BATMAN franchise back up and running. I liked it better when they were talking about Eminem playing the part. At least he could convey intensity. If Ashton Kutcher gets the role then I suspect Batman fans will experience a dark night.
If that wasn’t bad enough, E! Online reports that THE FANTASTIC FOUR may in fact be done in the same sort of campy style as the CHARLIE’S ANGELS movies are. Wonderful! Why not just release the Roger Corman FANTASTIC FOUR film that’s never officially seen the light of day and save yourselves the time and effort? Sheesh!
Hey, wanna hear two really wild rumors? First up, The Z Review reports that Rowan "Mr. Bean” Atkinson will be playing Voldemort himself in future Harry Potter movies. Strangely enough, I think he could pull it off. Not to be outdone, Filmlink is reporting that Jeff Goldblum not only wants to play Gargamel in the proposed live action SMURFS movie, but he wants to direct the film as well. Can you see Jeff Goldblum as Gargamel? Me neither. Either Jeff Goldblum is a huge Smurfs fan or somebody has been smokin’ some mushroom!
I believe it was late last year when I mentioned something about an urban version of AIRPLANE being in the works. Apparently the thing is closer to becoming a reality. The title is SOUL PLANE (Are you laughing yet? I didn’t think so.) and it is apparently so funny that comedian Wanda Sykes was recently quoted as saying she was offered a role in the movie but turned it down due to it being utter garbage. Nice to know someone in Hollywood has some standards. None the less, we’ll be hearing more about this one since Method Man and Snoop Dogg have signed on. I still say FLYIN’ HIGH would have been a better title because you just know this film is going to be loaded with pot jokes.
The Rock has a love interest! According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ashley Scott, fresh from the short lived Birds of Prey series, has signed on to play The People’s Champion’s stripper girlfriend in the much dreaded, name only remake of WALKING TALL. Should we just start placing bets on how much this movie is going to suck?
Peter Jackson spoke about his KING KONG remake that is currently experiencing a total re-write tossing out a few crumbs regarding what we should expect. Basically, Skull Island will be very central to the plot as over 2/3 of the movie will be set there. Expect the island to be loaded with other monstrous creatures in addition to Kong himself. The best news of all is that the film will indeed be set in 1933. Hopefully Jackson will succeed where Dino De Laurentiis failed (miserably).
Speaking of remakes, Filmjerk reports that Tobe Hooper is planning a remake of the 1978 horror film THE TOOLBOX MURDERS. Yes, I know we’ve all been hoping for a remake of THE TOOLBOX MURDERS for years now. Thanks, Tobe! Maybe next you can remake PIECES or MICROWAVE MASSACRE?
Speaking of psycho slashers, our first look at FREDDY VS JASON is up at the movie’s web site. Don’t know if the movie itself will be any good but the trailer does a pretty good job of selling the movie.
(link – www.freddyvsjason.com)
Try not to shed a tear but CBS has officially cancelled the sitcom version of the hit film MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING.
New Line Cinema has announced 5 new DVDs they will be releasing on August 5th that should delight many, or more likely just a few. For all you CRITTERS fans, all four movies will be released in widescreen format on August 5th. Alas, the only extras on the discs will be each movie’s trailer. And for those of you who are blood relatives of Ally Sheedy and Lance Henriksen, that great big pile of dog crap they made called MAN’S BEST FRIEND gets dropped onto DVD August 5th. That one will also be widescreen with only the theatrical trailer as an extra. Think of all the great movies that have yet to get a DVD release and yet MAN’S BEST FRIEND will! No word on what the prices for any of these discs will be but I suspect that within a year you’ll find them in the $5.88 bin at Wal-Mart.
Finally today, let me just say that you should probably expect some new information on Schlocktoberfest sometime in the next 10 days and you’ll read it here first!
- Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 11:43 AM | Comments
Monday, May 12, 2003
Red Water
Does South Africa look anything like Louisiana? Watch the upcoming shark thriller Red Water (which stars Lou Diamond Phillips, Kristy "I was Buffy too" Swanson, and Coolio -coolness!) set to air this August on TBS, to find out. Charlie (Christmas Rush) Carner directs this thriller about a Bull Shark (the only kind that can swim in fresh water and salt) that gets into a Louisiana River for some southern chumbo. Phillips' comments in a blurb at the Fangoria website are comically enthused.
--Chad H "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 7:00 AM | Comments
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