|
Thursday, April 10, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for April 10, 2003
Okay, so you’ve tried to kill Jennifer Aniston, gone to Vegas, been shot into space, and now find yourself stuck in the hood, what do you do now? Well, if you’re the little green psychopath you decide to get your grubby paws on some sticky green. In an interview with Warwick Davis, the Leprechaun himself told Celluloid Shockers that one of the big highlights of LEPRECHAUN: BACK IN THE HOOD will be the malevolent midget smoking some weed and getting stoned out of his mind. (Uh... didn't they do that in the last film? -Ed.) Obviously this franchise has finally run out of ideas if this is what they’re resorting to. Besides, I always figured heavy pot smoking was what helped get these movies financed. Davis also revealed that DVD boxset of the LEPRECHAUN films is in the works with Davis doing audio commentary for each film. I’m sure that should please all the LEPRECHAUN fans out there. You know who you are!
Speaking of Mary Jane, Kirsten Dunst will not be making out with Jerry O’Connell in SPIDER-MAN 2. O’Connell’s fans will be disappointed that he lost out on the role in the mega-sequel but the rest of human civilization will be pleased to see New Zealand actor Daniel Gillies in the part. Gillies will play John Jamison, an astronaut who woos Mary Jane Watson and also happens to be the son of J. Jonah Jamison. No word yet on whether or not this means we should expect John Jamison’s alter ego, The Moon Wolf, to show up in the film too.
DAREDEVIL director Mark Steven Johnson is going to be two-timing “the man without fear” with the “spirit of vengeance” as he has signed on to direct the long in-the-works GHOST RIDER film. Nic Cage is set to star in the film that will most likely deviate heavily from the comic books and be given a more “family friendly” treatment. Filming is scheduled to begin later this year with potential suckage to open in theaters in late 2004.
Finally today, are you ready for a big budget ROBOT JOX? Dreamworks has bought the science fiction spec script entitled REAL STEEL for Robert Zemeckis’ production company. REAL STEEL is set in the futuristic world of robot fighting where humans create and promote 2,000 pound humanoid robots that duke it out in a boxing ring with hopes of making it to the robot boxing championships. Wasn’t this done on an episode of Futurama? Personally, I’m actually looking forward to seeing this one, assuming it actually gets produced.
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 3:53 PM | Comments
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for April 8, 2003
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press.
Okay, are you sitting down? Jean Claude Van Damme has signed on to star in a sequel to his 1994 flop STREET FIGHTER. I don’t know what is more unbelievable, the fact that someone is going to pony up the money to make a sequel to that awful movie or the fact that Van Damme has agreed to star in it thinking this is something that could actually help his rapidly sinking career. UNIVERSAL SOLDIER 2 anyone? Sheesh! In addition, Australian singer/model Holly Valance is in talks to play the role that was played in the original by Australian singer/model Kylie Minogue. Van Damme was said to have been impressed by Valance, particularly her kickboxing skills. If you know anything about Van Damme’s womanizing reputation then you know what really impressed him and why he’s pushing for her to be in the movie. I still can’t believe they’re actually going to make a sequel to that wretched film. And to think that movie was the final role in the distinguished career of Raul Julia. Now that’s a tragedy!
Another fighting game heading to the silver screen is DEAD OR ALIVE. This one is coming to us from the same folks also planning the video game movies RESIDENT EVIL 2 and DRIVER. Yep, its Paul W.S. Anderson’s production company! Anderson’s producing partner in crime Jeremy Bolt is describing the DOA movie as “CHARLIE’S ANGELS meets ENTER THE DRAGON.” Why don’t they just make a movie based on that DOA beach volleyball game and make it a total jigglefest, otherwise, you know it is just going to be a 90 minute movie with Maxim models with 3 months of martial arts training doing stupid MATRIX-style kung fu. And as we all know, everything is better with MATRIX-style kung fu!
Another comic book is coming to the big screen. Its called BATTLE CHASERS and I’ve never heard of it but it apparently features a scantily clad, big breasted heroine who really likes shooting things. Actually, that sounds like a large number of comic books these days. Boy, I really hope it turns out as good as BARB WIRE did.
Vin Diesel has gone on the record saying he would love to play a Marvel superhero, in particular Silver Surfer. Hey, why not? And then they could cast Marlon Brando as Galactus, Devourer of Worlds! Diesel also finally debunked those rumors of him playing Venom in SPIDER-MAN 3.
Unsubstantiated rumors making the rounds on the internet state that Warner Brothers is considering bringing in Dominic Sena to direct SUPERMAN. Sena directed GONE IN 60 SECONDS and SWORDFISH. God, I hope this rumor proves untrue otherwise SUPERMAN truly is screwed.
Speaking of sucky directors, Simon West, director of CON AIR, THE GENERAL’S DAUGHTER, and TOMB RAIDER, will be taking over the directing duties for JURASSIC PARK 4. Hasn’t that cow been milked to death yet?
And keeping with the theme of sucky directors, The Hollywood Reporter reports that Rob Cohen of XXX, FAST & THE FURIOUS, THE SKULLS, and DAYLIGHT fame, will produce and direct a live action movie version of the Japanese anime KITE. For those not familiar with KITE, it’s just like THE PROFESSIONAL only if the underage girl and the hitman were to engage in hardcore sex acts. Sounds more like something Roman Polanski should be making now that I think about it.
According to FilmJerk, Damon and Keenan Ivory Wayans are planning to make HOMEY THE CLOWN into a feature film. You remember Homey The Clown from the Wayan’s long defunct sketch comedy series In Living Color and we all know how well movies based on character’s from sketch comedy shows usually turn out. The plot will have Homey taking a job at the City of Angels Children Center and having to save the place from being closed down be the evil district attorney, D.A. Mann. Get it? D.A. Mann – “da man.” Clever huh? I didn’t think so either. And is it just me or does this plot sound an awful lot like the one from Richard Pryor’s movie BUSTIN’ LOOSE?
Tim Allen has a new comedy in the works that sounds like it is poised to suck as pretty much all non-GALAXY QUEST comedies starring Tim Allen do. The film is called IN THE PINK, and in it Allen plays a Texas playboy with a cushy corporate job who suddenly finds himself out of work. To make ends meet he turns to selling Mary Kay cosmetics. At first it is a disaster, but he eventually learns the secrets to understanding women and becomes a top seller. I’m sure hilarity ensues.
One sure fire sign of a bad movie is when the film is based on a song. Paramount announced today they’re planning a combination live-action/CGI film based on Bobby Boris Pickett’s classic Halloween song (Do any other Halloween themed songs even exist?) THE MONSTER MASH. (Didn't someone already make a movie based on The Monster Mash? -Ed.) It seems that Halloween is the only time of the year when monsters can roam freely amongst us humans but some precocious kid discovers the truth and much cuteness ensues. In other words, expect MONSTER SQUAD meets MONSTERS INC. but most likely without everything that made those two entertaining. Hey, it’s coming from the guy who made INSPECTOR GADGET so the odds of it being good are not good. Also, a modernized update of the classic song will accompany the movie. Oooh, I hope they get Limp Bizkit to remake it!
Creature Corner reports that a modern day retelling of THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW cleverly titled THE HOLLOW is in pre-production. Apparently Ichabod Crane’s descendant returns to Sleepy Hollow and inadvertently awakens the Headless Horseman. Could be good or could be bad. The director is the same fellow responsible for the recent supernatural western THE LEGEND OF THE PHANTOM RIDER and the screenwriter is the chap who the screenplay for the forthcoming MAN-THING movie. No word on whether this is going to be a direct-to-video production or a theatrical release.
Only one movie of note coming out on video today and it is guaranteed to be awful – CHEERLEADER MASSACRE. Did I not mention that Jim Wynorski directed it? I think that should tell you all you need or want to know.
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 6:26 PM | Comments
Suspira remake?
Variety reports that Dimension Pictures has announced plans to remake Dario Argento's Suspiria. Stephen (Shadow of the Vampire) Katz is writing the script, but no director is mentioned.
–Chad H. "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 1:58 PM | Comments
Visit our news archive.
|
|
|
|
|
|
