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Saturday, March 22, 2003
FoyWonder's News Roundup for March 22
War be damned! Hollywood continues to crank out crap and I continue to report it! Here’s your daily assault of Schlock & Awe!
Dark Horizons reports that Steven Seagal’s GENGHIS KHAN biopic will begin shooting all over Beijing next spring and will have a $50 million budget. Think about that for a second. He actually got people to front $50 million dollars to make this vanity piece!
According to Variety, Brett Ratner is out as the director of SUPERMAN. In what came as a shock to no one who has been following this production, the director was given the boot and will immediately begin work on (oh joy) RUSH HOUR 3. Reportedly Ratner’s dream SUPERMAN movie would have cast Anthony Hopkins as Lex Luthor, Ralph Fiennes as Jor-El, and Christopher Walken as Perry White. Unfortunately for Ratner, disputes over who would don the Man of Steel’s tights contributed to his exit. So once again Warner Brothers finds themselves with nothing to show for a movie they’ve already spent reportedly somewhere in the vicinity of $50 million on. Still, rumors continue to fly as Superhero Hype reports that Billy Zane is up for the Lex Luthor role. Whatever.
According to Dark Horizons, David Boreanaz really wowed the Warner Brothers brass when auditioning for SUPERMAN but commitments to the series Angel prevented him from taking the role. However, he’s now reportedly the front runner to star as the Dark Knight in the next BATMAN movie that MEMENTO director Chris Nolan is doing. Expect an official announcement regarding BATMAN: THE FRIGHTENING very soon.
1wrestling.com has details on the remake of WALKING TALL starring The Rock. The Rock will star as a soldier who returns home to his Washington State hometown after serving in the United States Special Forces looking to reopen his family's business, a lumber mill. Once he arrives home however, he has to deal with the corruption of the local town, including a crooked Casino where his old girlfriend works as a "private dancer." The character played by The Rock will not be named Buford Pusser. Okay, so why call it WALKING TALL if it isn’t going to be based on the source material? And that plot, it sounds more like the plot of a leftover Steven Seagal script. I’m going to go on the record right now and say this movie will be a colossal flop.
In the weirdest news item of the day, Showbiz Ireland reports that former President Bill Clinton will appear in the next James Bond movie. No word on what Clinton’s role in the movie will be. And people thought Bob Dole’s Viagra commercials were less than dignified.
Apparently E! Online have become pimps for Jerry O’Connell’s movie career as they’re now reporting that he’s up for the role of a romantic rival for Kirsten Dunst’s affection in the next SPIDER-MAN movie. Maybe he can turn out to be Hydro Man since Jerry’s all wet anyway! (rimshot)
Looks like that live action JETSONS movie is a step closer to reality. With rumor having it that Steve Martin will be playing family patriarch George Jetson it looks like his BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE director Adam Shankman might be directing so reports the Hollywood Reporter. One can only hope this live action cartoon movie will be better than THE FLINTSTONES and DUDLEY DO-RIGHT and GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE and MR. MAGOO and FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS.... Wow, there have really been some seriously bad live action cartoons!
Another cartoon headed to the big screen in live action form is AEON FLUX, MTV’s futuristic super heroine. According to Variety, the director of GIRLFIGHT is in final negotiations to helm the pic. This could either be a cool sci-fi action film or a really crappy sci-fi action film. Either way I think we should all expect more MATRIX-style kung fu because as we all know everything is better with MATRIX-style kung fu!
Another sitcom is headed to the big screen in the form of THE HONEYMOONERS starring Cedric The Entertainer and Mike Epps in Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton roles, respectively. A big screen version of one of the most famous sitcoms of all time with an “urban” twist? This sounds like a guaranteed failure.
NW Magazine reports that Kylie Minogue is up for the lead role in a big screen version of CATS. Reportedly the budget for film will be a whopping $100 million. For that price they should CGI real cats to make them look like they’re singing instead of using actors in costumes.
In this weeks comic book movie news, Madonna’s production company Maverick Films has picked up the rights to the violent SE7EN-like VIOLENT MESSIAHS. The movie will reportedly follow the 8-part "Book of Job" storyline following a female police detective, a serial killer called "The Family Man," and a violent vigilante named Justice Pain. I can vouch for this being a pretty good comic I just hope Madonna does not cast herself as the female police detective.
So how (or for that matter why) do you make a TREMORS 4 for home video release in October even with a TV series set to debut on the Sci-Fi Channel in just a matter of days? Well, it will be a prequel and we all know well those tend to turn out. TREMORS 4 will be sent in Perfection Valley a century ago and detail the first appearances of the Grabboids. Michael Gross, who has appeared in all the movies and stars in the TV version, will be in the movie most likely portraying one of his ancestors. As much as I like TREMORS, this premise really is getting stretched to the point that its just about ready to snap.
According to MonkeyPeaches, Hong Kong martial arts superstar Donnie Yen will be starring in the big screen version of the Playstation 2 game ONIMUSHA. The film is set for release in 2005 by Disney with a “well known director” attached to helm the flick. Disney is behind this? Un oh! Will ONIMUSHA now have a wisecracking Chinese dragon sidekick voiced by Eddie Murphy too?
Variety reports that Christina Ricci and Skeet Ulrich have joined the cast of the Wes Craven/Kevin Williamson werewolf movie CURSED. They’ll be joining Scott Baio and Corey Feldman who both have already signed on. If that wasn’t bad enough, the current synopsis for the film appearing in Variety read as follows, “three strangers whose paths cross one night in contemporary Los Angeles.” Is there a reason why they neglected to mention that there’s a werewolf involved?
Estella (PLANET OF THE APES/KANGAROO JACK) Warren and Ashley Scott, fresh off the recently cancelled Birds of Prey, have signed on to star in the new horror movie TRESPASSING. Basically its about an old haunted plantation in New Orleans that causes people to go loco, so of course a couple of grad students decide it would be a good place to conduct paranormal research. And of course most paranormal researchers look like Estella Warren and Ashley Scott.
Indie horror director Brett Piper, who previously made THEY BITE (which was actually kind of amusing) and PSYCLOPS (which was about as big of a waste of celluloid as you’re likely to ever see), is prepping his latest opus entitled HOUSE OF 1,000 SCREAMS. The film is going to be a horror movie allegory about the nasty side of show business and features ghosts and Misty Mundae. Piper promises this movie will “give her a little more of an opportunity to show what she can do as an actress.” Well, seeing as how the only thing she has shown so far as an actress is the ability to strip on command so she has nowhere to go but up. I’m sure Chadzilla will review it for us.
Finally, I have a new review up at Creature Corner. Actually, this one is more of a half rant/half warning to my fellow man regarding the new direct-to-video atrocity called BLOODTHIRST: LEGEND OF THE CHUPACABRA, a movie so astoundingly wretched I actually turned it off at one point to watch TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL on Cinemax…again. Fortunately Debbie Rochon does not appear in this one so I don’t have to worry about any more angry emails for awhile.
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 11:25 AM | Comments
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
NOWFF 2003 cancelled
In response to an inquiry about the 2003 New Orleans Worst Film Festival, NOWFF vice-president Crystal Guillory said today that the annual festival will not take place this summer. Citing the illness of a family member of one of the NOWFF staff members and a lack of resources as the primary reasons for the decision, Guillory expressed her regret at the 2003 festival's cancellation and said that the decision was "final."
The news will come as a disappointment for many b-movie fans, for whom the 12-hour movie marathon has become an annual touchstone. Here at badmovies.net, we wish the NOWFF crew and family the best and hope to see them next summer for NOWFF 2004.
posted by Christopher 8:54 PM | Comments
(This is a much-belated update from Chad Saxelid -- sorry about the delay, Chad. Still the news has plenty of relevance and is here for your perusal. -Ed.)
A few more guests have signed on for the Halloween convention, the most interesting by Feardotcom director William Malone. Evidently the director is the one who made the Michael Myers mask for Don Post studios. Small world now, is it not? Also making his first ever convention appearance is the one and only Jack Verbois.... Don't know him? Well neither did I. He played Ben Tramer in Halloween 2. Yup, the extra/stunt man who wore a mask and crossed the street before a dummy got hit by a car, mashed, and blown up will be there to sign posters and what not. Somewhere a fan is dancing a jig. Brinke Stevens is showing up as well. Raffle items are listed, some the goodies that are actually worth something. Like crew jackets for Halloween II and 8. Other stuff is just flea market filler. I mean, Halloween tumblers (i.e. plastic cup with the first movie's famous graphic artwork and title on it) and laserdiscs, OOP video tapes and the like? www.halloween25.com has the info; go there and beware.
On the business side of things, Blue Underground has announced a 3 year distribution deal with Ryko Distribution. This means improved retail availability and, more importantly, increased funding for acquisitions. Old school B-movie lovers should be happy with that news. The company continues its tradition of treating schlock with the respect only fans are capable of by releasing a two-disc set of the maligned Romero/Argento collaboration Two Evil Eyes. The bonus disc includes interviews with George Romero, Dario Argento, Tom Savini, and Claudio and Asia Argento, as well as documentaries about Tom Savini (behind the scenes footage and a tour of his house) and a talk with Adrienne Barbeau on working with George A. Romero.
Still haven't seen Misty Mundae in action? Well look no further than Showtime on March 28th (3:45AM) when Playmate of the Apes is set to air. Cinemax will also be showing the soft-core parody. Want to see what the little minx looks like as Spiderbabe? Check this out!
Variety reports that T3 screenwriter Tedi Sarafian has been tapped by Gary Ross to write yet another planned update of Creature from the Black Lagoon. No further word.
Fangoria.com has an interview with author Koji (Ringu novel) Suzuki, which offers some insight into the writing of the story that gave so many of us the heebie-jeebies.
–Chad H. "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 9:17 AM | Comments
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Another great issue of CultDVDZone is now available, with listings of cult DVDs of interest for the next two weeks. Enjoy.
posted by Christopher 4:48 AM | Comments
Monday, March 17, 2003
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Before you all rush out to rent all the LEPRECHAUN movies tonight here’s a quick new update!
Dark Horizons has a plot synopsis for THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER: "Luc Crash (Luke Goss), is the charismatic gang leader of a ragtag band of Satanist bikers named after the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. Luc murders Jimmy Cuervo (Edward Furlong) and his girlfriend Lily as part of a ritual to become an immortal demon, but Luc finds that Jimmy has been transformed into the avenging spirit known at The Crow, intent on stopping Luc before he can become the Lord of the Flies." Wow, that just sounds like absolute crap. They really should have just left the whole franchise be after Brandon Lee’s untimely death. Come to think of it, Edward Furlong probably should have just packed it in after T2 because his career (not to mention real life) has been a mess ever since.
Dark Horizons also reports that the movie version of the video game HOUSE OF THE DEAD was sold to 25 different countries at the American Film Market a few weeks back. Considering what the reviews have been like I can’t help but to wonder how long it will be until they start demanding refunds? Ironically, the one country the movie wasn’t sold to is the United States although you can go ahead an pre-order the uncut DVD of the movie for $29 at the official HOUSE OF THE DEAD website. Every 1000th order they get will receive a VIP package that includes the theatrical poster, original frames from the 35mm print, and the soundtrack. Just keep in mind that they currently have no release date for this DVD but you can pre-order it nonetheless.
Completing the Dark Horizons trifecta, Naomi Watts is supposedly up for the role of SUPERGIRL in a new movie based on the SUPERMAN spin-off. Something tells me we’ll see this before we ever see an actual SUPERMAN movie and at this point that may not be such a bad thing.
Variety reported just this morning that a sequel to AGENT CODY BANKS has been give the green light. In fact, pre-production begins in only six weeks. And yet Warner Brothers still can’t get their SUPERMAN act together?
According to the Hollywood Reporter, the well-reviewed Hugh Grant sleeper hit ABOUT A BOY is headed to the small screen as a TV series starring Patrick Dempsey. I suspect it will be neither well reviewed or a hit.
Even though the Sci-Fi Channel series based on the movie franchise begins in a matter of weeks, an October 2003 release date has been announced for TREMORS 4. Do we really need another direct-to-video sequel in addition to the television series?
Coming to your local video store tomorrow:
BLOODTHIRST: LEGEND OF THE CHUPACABRA – Very little is known about this one other than it involves some people with a treasure map who end up waging mortal combat with the goatsucker. I am there! We’re overdue for a good chupacabra movie. Or a bad one for that matter!
CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER PART IV - This is actually supposed to be a lot of fun. I can’t possibly be worse than the last one. (Make sure you get the unrated Director's Cut, linked above. -Ed.)
GAMERA: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE – ADV Films finally gets around to releasing the first of the new Gamera trilogy on DVD domestically. Hopefully they did it justice. If the DVD only contains that horrendous dubbed version then they did not. (The DVD contains both English and Japanese language tracks. There's also a version with a collector's box which will hold all three movies when they come out. This version is linked above, but there's also a cheaper version without the box. -Ed.)
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 8:31 PM | Comments
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