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Saturday, March 01, 2003
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…it’s a special weekend update and we’ve got lots to cover so let’s got to press!
First up, add MECHWARRIOR to the ever-growing list of video games being made into films. Unfortunately for the potential franchise, hack master general (and my mortal enemy) Dean Devlin is in charge in the production although exactly what his role is going to be is something that even he hasn’t decided yet. Devlin’s production company picked up the rights to the game and will develop a script, which Devlin himself may end up writing (Uh Oh!) and there is even a possibility he may choose to make this his directorial debut (God No!). Can you say, WING COMMANDER 2?
Another video game heading to the big screen is FATAL FRAME, which is being developed at DreamWorks as we speak. The game concerns a woman who searches for her missing brother in a haunted mansion with an old camera that allows her to see ghosts. According to Variety, DreamWorks is hoping to turn this into a new horror franchise. While that premise may make for a fun video game it doesn’t sound like something that would make for a particularly interesting movie and certainly not as series of films. They’re really going to have to stretch that premise. The movie will also mark the directorial debut of John Rogers, the screenwriter of THE CORE. I wonder how long before he writes an angry diatribe on Ain’t It Cool News defending the scientific accuracy of a camera that snap pictures of poltergeists.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the role of Jon Arbuckle in the live-action GARFIELD movie will be most likely be played by Breckin Meyer, most recently heard on screen as the English dubbed voice of Roberto Benigni in the torturous PINNOCHIO. Maybe it’s just me, but I always thought of Garfield’s owner of being a bit older. The movie, set to begin production any day now, will focus on the rivalry between Garfield and the dumber-than-dirt dog Odie, both of whom will be computer generated. However, the two best special effects in the movie will belong to Jennifer Love Hewitt, who has signed on to play Jon’s love interest.
Add Denise “Mrs. Charlie Sheen” Richards to the cast of SCARY MOVIE 3. The film is set to begin filming this month and is already scheduled to open on October 3rd. Hopefully it will close a week later. Kill this franchise now!
MTV.com had an interview with Kelly Clarkson regarding the forthcoming and there’s nothing on earth we can do to stop it American Idol movie, FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY. "It has nothing to do with American Idol. The only thing that does is that [our] names are in the title, and our characters in the movie are named that, but my character is nothing like me. ... And it's not about us trying to make it in the business or anything.” Then what the hell is it going to be about? Why does this movie even exist? The English language is going to have to create an entirely new connotation of the word “suck” to accurately describe just how atrocious this movie is going to be!
More Christopher Lambert news -- and we all know that’s not a good thing. Dark Horizons reports that Lambert has signed on to star in MORTAL KOMBAT 3 where he will reprise his role of Rayden. The story has Rayden resurrecting Johnny Cage to fight in MK Domination, which I assume is some sort of special tournament or something like that. The movie is already set for a November 2003 release so this is pretty much guaranteed to be nothing more than a quick and cheap production designed to milk the MK name for every drop imaginable. Then again, that’s exactly what the first two films and the TV series were so there’s no point ragging on it that badly.
Upcoming Movies has some more details on the plot of the improbable WHERE’S WALDO? movie. The movie will detail the adventures through time and space of 30-year-old janitor and part time inventor Waldo, who accidentally activates a broken time machine. In the tradition of the books, there will most likely also be some sort of search element, possibly showcasing Waldo's amazing ability to blend in well with crowds, despite wearing a bright red-and-white striped sweater and floppy ski cap. Oh, and he’ll also have a love interest. As if that lame remake of THE TIME MACHINE wasn’t bad enough! This just sounds hopelessly insipid.
Comic book time! Thanks to the success of DAREDEVIL, not only is a sequel on its way, an Electra spin-off movie starring Jennifer Garner has been officially green lit. An animated series based on Rob Liefield’s BADROCK is rumored to be in development over at the ABC Family Channel. Owen Wilson is rumored to have signed on for a supporting role in that CATWOMAN that may or may not ever get made. The Sci-Fi Channel has their script for a pilot based on Marvel’s BROTHER VOODOO and will soon begin production. Josh Hartnett has officially taken himself out of the running for the role of SUPERMAN. Current casting rumors for the Man of Steel involve the names Brendan Fraser, THE FAST & THE FURIOUS’ Paul Walker, and soap opera hunk Matthew Bomer. According to the UK’s Hello Magazine and Daily Express, Angel star David Boreanaz has won the role and already signed a three-picture deal to star with an official announcement to come later this week. I’ll believe it when it happens.
To follow-up on yesterday’s story about the new Santo DVDs, I’ve got some more details about the movies being released. It’ll definitely be interesting to see these not only because they’ve never been available in the US before, but because, keep in mind, by the time these 4 were made, El Santo was already in his 50s.
April 14th - SANTO: INFRATERRESTRE (2001) – El Hijo Del Santo, the son of the original El Santo, stars in this brand new film where he must save the world from evil invaders from inner earth. I remember seeing the rather vague trailer for this one about 2 years ago. It was obviously a low budget production but I do recall seeing a flying car and apparently there is some sort of BLOODSPORT-style wrestling match in a parking garage with fellow luchador Blue Panther, who apparently falls under the control of the “Infraterrestrials.” The loaded disk for this one will include deleted scenes, premiere footage, a making of features, a documentary on the special effects, an interview with the director, and an actual Blue Panther vs. El Santo wrestling match.
June 10th - SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS. DRACULA AND THE WOLFMAN (1973) – Apparently all that stuff in the novel with Van Helsing was bogus because Dracula was actually defeated by a powerful magician. Now the Count is back and with the help of the Wolfman and his legion of followers, he puts his evil plan in motion to take over the world, or at the very least Mexico. A descendant of the magician enlists El Santo and fellow luchador Blue Demon to make like Batman & Robin and defeat the legendary vampire once and for all. I’ve seen a few clips of this one before. This one will be worth it just to see the scene where a pudgy, nearly 60 year old El Santo, dressed in beige leisure clothes with his silver mask, swings on a rope and rams Dracula.
June 10th - SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS. DR. FRANKENSTEIN (1974) - The diabolical Dr. Frankenstein, who apparently moved to Mexico sometime in the early 70s, continues his quest to perfect his brain transplant operation in order to bring back his deceased wife. El Santo and Blue Demon are called in to help when their friend Alicia becomes Dr. Frankenstein’s next potential “donor.” Can they stop the mad doctor and his super zombie, Golem? Considering El Santo made 9 more movies after this one, I’m guessing the answer is yes.
July 15th - SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA (1968) – I wasn’t aware that Dracula had a treasure but who am I to argue with the man in the silver mask? After the successful invention of a time machine, El Santo and his friend Dr. Sepulveda must prove to their colleagues that the time machine really works. They will attempt this by searching for Dracula's treasure in the 19th century. Ummm…okay.
July 15th - SANTO VS. FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1971) - Dr. Freda Frankenstein brings one of her experiments to life, a monster named Ursus, to do her evil bidding. Her evil bidding involves a youth serum and they need Santo’s superhuman blood to regenerate a stronger youth serum. I wasn’t aware that Santo was superhuman. I wonder if there’s any continuity between this one and the other one with Frankenstein in it?
If you’ve never experienced the sheer delirium that is a Santo film then now is going to be the perfect time to start! Believe me, Mexican wrestling horror movies are unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. They are truly an oddball genre unto themselves.
Sadly, the week must end on sad news. If the passing of television icon Mr. Rogers wasn’t bad enough, Ashton Kutcher, in a print interview this past week, officially confirmed that there will be no DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? Sequel. And the world weeps.
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 5:53 AM | Comments
Friday, February 28, 2003
DVD Drive-In and Rise Above Entertainment announced the release of five El Santo movies in the coming year.
SANTO: INFRATERRESTRE, set for release on April 14, 2003, pits the silver-masked Mexican wrestling hero against a criminal organization that terrorizes Mexico City with a wave of kidnappings. This looks like a two-disc set loaded with extras.
EL SANTO VS THE MONSTERS: Vol 1, set for release on June 10, 2003, includes the other four El Santo films in question: SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS DR. FRANKENSTEIN, SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS. DRACULA AND THE WOLFMAN, SANTO VS. FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, and SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA. (Given the packaging that is pictured, I expect this will also be a two-disc set, but exact details were not available.)
Other upcoming releases without set dates include: SANTO IN THE FRONTIER OF TERROR, SANTO IN THE VENGEANCE OF THE MUMMY, SANTO VS. THE MURDERER OF TV, and a second EL SANTO VS THE MONSTERS set sometime in October.
It doesn't get much cooler than this, kids. Thanks to Ken Begg for pointing this one out.
posted by Christopher 6:53 AM | Comments
As most know by now, Fred Rogers has died of stomach cancer. A sad moment for children both young and young-at-heart everywhere.
Tempe Video has posted its 2003 release schedule at their website.
Looks like the Lucasberg Tinker Virus is spreading. Stephen King's website has announced that the author has rewritten The Gunslinger! His official statement is that he wanted to bring the first Dark Tower book in-line with material in the new books as well as in the first four. The additional material amounts to a 10% upgrade (some 35 additional pages of material) with new stuff appearing on almost every page. Is Jar Jar in it Steve-o? Read his complete statement.
–Chad H. "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 6:43 AM | Comments
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Time for a quick mid-week update.
Variety reports that Dimension Films has hired Oscar nominated screenwriter Robert Nelson Jacobs, who wrote the unbearably pretentious CHOCOLAT, to script the big-screen version of Marvel Comic’s WEREWOLF BY NIGHT. Quoting Marvel honcho Avi Arad, "WEREWOLF BY NIGHT is at its core a beautiful love story reminiscent of the great Shakespearean tragedies. It needs the meticulous heartfelt crafting that Robert Nelson Jacobs is known for." Speaking as someone who is a fan of the 70s comic book, THIS IS GOING TO SUCK AND SUCK HARD!
In the current issue of ToyFare Magazine, there’s a little blurb about the possibility of He-Man making his way to the silver screen once again. Seems the success of The Cartoon Network series has begun talk of mega-budget MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE flick to be released Christmas 2004 as the beginning of a film franchise. They better get cracking if they’re going to make that date. There are even rumors already about Tim Roth or Jude Law playing Skeletor and Eric Christian Olsen (Who?) as He-Man. They swear it won’t be anything like the Dolph Lundgren “He-Man goes to Earth” movie version. Thank God for that.
Nora (SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE/YOU GOT MAIL) Ephron has signed on to direct the big-screen version of the 1960s sitcom BEWITCHED. Nicole Kidman is still in negotiations to play Samantha but has yet to commit. Mike Myers has been rumored for the role of Darren. I think they should cast two actors as Darren and switch them back and forth throughout the film.
There are few names in this world more synonymous with cinematic crap than Christopher Lambert. Well, he’s at it again and this time Lou Diamond Philips and Ron Perlman are along for the ride. The film is called ABSOLON. What’s it about? Well, here’s the only plot synopsis I could find. “In a world ravaged by disease, he's the only cure... and the last hope for human-kind.” I’m guess the "he" in question is Lambert. This definitely sounds like the kind of generic; simple-minded sci-fi film he would make.
In a throwback of the great schlockfests of the 50s and 60s, the Rugrats new film, RUGRATS GO WILD, will be released in Odorama --delivering various scents to the audience likely via scratch-and-sniff cards." Why do I suspect one of the smells will be dirty diaper? I’m not sure of the actual plot, but with a title like that it might very well have the little brats going on a drunken spring break adventure in Cancun, Mexico…or not.
GNOMEO AND JULIET – that’s the title of Disney’s next half CGI animation/half live-action feature. It’s a love story between garden gnomes. One can only hope the end will involve some teenagers with a baseball bat.
Finally today, my latest NOWFF article is online for all to wallow in. In it, I join forces with a friend of mine to bust open an extremely bad movie about a killer piñata that tries to kill an island full of drunken college students. Find out exactly why PINATA: SURVIVAL ISLAND went unreleased for nearly two years. We’re talking Ed Wood-level badness here folks. And there are also pictures galore for those of you who hate pesky little things like words. Experience the ineptitude by just clicking here.
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 7:37 PM | Comments
In a quick bit of genre-related news, www.stephenking.com has published a press release detailed the media hoopla that will be the publication of the last three Dark Tower books.
http://www.stephenking.com/pr18feb2003.html
Also, Zentertainment reports that Rob (The West Wing) Lowe will be playing Ben Mears in an upcoming 4 hour mini-series of Salem's Lot for TNT.
-Chad H. "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 7:19 AM | Comments
Monday, February 24, 2003
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press!
DINOCROC is coming! Since there just aren’t enough killer crocodile movies littering video store shelves, Roger Corman has decided to help fill that void with his latest opus. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Corman’s New Concorde company will produce DINOCROC, in which a humongous prehistoric ancestor of the modern crocodile is somehow revived and proceeds to terrorize a small community. Yes, it’s a Jurassic crocodile movie from the people responsible for the CARNOSAUR franchise. In fact, the screenwriter is the same guy who wrote RAPTOR, which itself was mostly just pieced together stock footage from previous CARNOSAUR films. The title monster will be created via CGI and (What a shock!) future sequels are already planned.
Also according to The Hollywood Reporter, Lion’s Gate has picked up distribution rights to the rights to Michael (EIGHT DAYS A WEEK/100 GIRLS) Davis’ MONSTERMAN. The plot centers on pair of road-tripping college students who cross paths with and get stalked by a psychopath driving a monster truck. Switch the monster truck to a semi-truck and it would be virtually the same plot as the movie JOY RIDE. No word yet on whether it will get a theatrical or direct-to-video release but I would suspect the latter is more likely.
According to a report on IGN FilmForce, Kiefer Sutherland is rumored to be up for the role of Johnny Blaze in the much-ballyhooed GHOST RIDER movie. Even as a rumor this still comes as a surprise to many since Nic Cage has long been associated with that role.
Take this for what you will but RankinBass.com claims that a live-action THUNDERCATS movie is in some stage of pre-production and an animated, direct-to-video project is being considered. I was never a fan of Thundercats but anything that might take us one step closer to the resurrection of Inhumanoids is okay in my book.
With Buffy The Vampire Slayer all but assured of ceasing production at the end of this season, Sarah Michelle Geller is already plotting out a movie career that seems to guarantee she will make a quick return to television. As if her last foray into the romantic comedy genre, SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE (Remember the one where she played the world’s most emaciated chef who became the toast of the town and found the love of her life thanks to a magic crab?), wasn’t bad enough, Mrs. Freddie Prinze Jr. has signed on to star in a new romantic comedy brilliantly titled ROMANTIC COMEDY. It’s the story of a young man who uses bits from great romantic comedy movies to woo a girl who has no idea he loves her. Between this, HARVARD MAN, and her role in the SCOOBY DOO franchise, something tells me she’ll be itching to that rumored big-screen Buffy movie real quick.
The Hallmark Channel (of all networks) is getting into the monster movie business with a new production scheduled to debut on their channel this Halloween. Entitled THE MONSTER MAKERS, it tells the tale of a 13-year old boy who works with his mom in a in a retirement home and gets his hands on a print of a never-released 50s monster movie. He takes it home and watches it on Halloween night. The monsters come out of the movie and he has to destroy them. The monsters consist of Manikin, a living dummy that wants to replace its part with actual human body parts, a were-rat called Vermin, and Revenant, a ghost who possesses people. Being a Hallmark Channel production, one can expect it to be a very tame production that will probably fail on both the horror and camp level.
Finally today, YOU CAN’T STOP THE MURDERS. That’s the title of a new Australian comedy that recently opened Down Under and will be making its way to America later this year since Miramax (Uh oh!) has already snatched up the international rights. Here’s the premise. “The action takes place in small town Sleepy West Village, host to the annual Fun Festival. The inhabitants are rocked to the core when a biker is killed. Then a construction worker is killed. Then a sailor, followed by a cowboy and an indian. It becomes apparent that a serial killer is knocking off 'members' of the Village People. Only one person is left on the list – the cop. Suddenly our rescuers, the local police, are racing to save their town and their own lives.” Now that’s a premise!
-Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 1:20 PM | Comments
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