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Thursday, September 26, 2002
Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor Tropical Storm Isidore can stop me from reporting to you the latest bad movie news!
FLASH . . . Warner Brothers is fast tracking a big screen version of the video game Doom. The film will reportedly be based on the storyline of the 3rd Doom game, which will be "set at a paramilitary base on Mars where a scientific experiment goes awry and accidentally opens a portal to hell." Oh, and the movie is going to rated PG-13. Goody, yet another PG-13 movie based on an R-rated game. Essentially this is going to be GHOSTS OF MARS meets EVENT HORIZON with a PG-13 rating? Joy.
FLASH . . . First Kelly Osbourne dropped out. Then Annette Benning dropped out. Now Jamie Lee Curtis has dropped in. The Hollywood Reporter reports that Jamie Lee Curtis will replace Annette Benning in the role of mom in Disney’s upcoming FREAKY FRIDAY remake. Seems even after starring in HOUSE ARREST and showing up in two pointless HALLOWEEN sequels, Jamie Lee just hasn’t found that proverbial nail in the coffin of her career yet, but, God bless her, she keeps trying.
FLASH . . . your BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER update for the day - current Rotten Tomatoes score: 0 postive/72 negative. The grave keeps getting deeper!
FLASH . . . The Comics2Film web site reports that screenwriter Jonathan Hensleigh has turned in his draft of the screenplay for the forthcoming PUNISHER movie. Word of mouth says the script is “spectacular.” I just hope it isn’t “spectacular” in the same way that the Superman script was hyped by Warner Bros. to be “fantastic.”
FLASH . . . If you haven’t done so already, I order you to surf on over to the Coming Attractions site and read their in-depth coverage of the massive clusterf*** happening behind-the-scenes at Warner Brothers concerning the new SUPERMAN movie. Hell, a movie about the corporate chaos going-on just trying to make the movie would probably make for a more entertaining film at this point! If you even wanted a good idea why so many big budget Hollywood blockbusters bite the big one, head on over to Coming Attractions and read for yourself.
FLASH . . . A new review I did for the just released on video slasher pic, THE POOL, will be going up over at Creature Corner sometime in the next 24 hours. The good news, it’s actually better than I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. The bad news, that was the best compliment I could come up with for the film. So if you got a few minutes and need a laugh, feel free to give it a read.
This is Scott Foy reporting to you just 65 miles East of where the storm will make landfall. More waterlogged news, views, and skews to come when I dry out!
posted by Christopher 9:11 AM | Comments
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
The latest Cult DVD Zone has been posted; the new list of DVD releases for the next couple of weeks is ready for your perusal. Enjoy.
posted by Christopher 8:10 PM | Comments
Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea . . . let’s go to press!
Well, if you haven’t been over to Ain’t It Cool News to read Moriarty’s review of the SUPERMAN script, they you should do so ASAP. If you think GODZILLA and PLANET OF THE APES got the royal screwjob from the powers that be in Hollywood, then wait until you read about the Superman where Krypton doesn’t explode and Lex Luthor is an X-Files agent who is actually another superhuman Kryptonian in disguise and how Jor-El kills himself to venture into the afterlife to (as Moriarty so eloquently put it) argue Superman out of being dead. There really isn’t anything else to say about this subject other than “Hollywood sucks!”
While we’re questioning the sanity of Hollywood powerbrokers, have you heard about Mel Gibson’s next project? He’s directing a movie based on the last 12 hours of the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing wrong with that . . . EXCEPT . . . the movie is going to be filmed in Latin and Aramaic, the language that Christ is believed to have spoken, both of which are dead languages. Gibson also says there won't be any subtitles. News flash, Mel, there won’t be any audience either!
Dark Horizons reports that Antonio Banderas has turned down a whopping $20 million to once again don the mask of Zorro for a sequel to the hit film. Quoting Banderas, "I could have been rich, it would have been $20million for each sequel. But I would prefer to concentrate on other things, theatre maybe" After the cinematic masterpiece that is BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER, Banderas may want to reconsider because chances are huge paydays like that won’t be coming his way again anytime soon.
Speaking of said film, it appears the final tally at Rotten Tomatoes will be 0 positive, 69 negative. That may be a new record. I did see one print ad for the film with a positive blurb, “ECKS-CELLENT” raves Steve Russell of Maxim Magazine. What does it say about Maxim’s journalistic credibility that Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t even bother to take into account the ramblings of their personal film critic?
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Dreamworks really is going ahead with plans for a GLADIATOR 2. The sequel will be set 15 years after the events of the Oscar winning original. Chances are Russell Crowe won’t be back seeing as how his character died, but even if he hadn’t, I would like to think the man would be smart enough to stay away from this utterly unnecessary sequel.
Continuing the unnecessary sequel theme, Moviehole reports that Anne Judson-Yaeger, Bree Turner, Richard Lee Jackson, Kevin Cooney and Damon Santostefano have all joined the cast of BRING IT ON AGAIN. If you have any idea who the hell any of these people are, please send you answers on a postcard to . . .
Topping both of those is Dark Horizons' report that THE SKULLS III begins filming in Toronto on November 5th. I’m going to go out on a limb and take a wild guess that the plot centers on a college student who gets initiated into “The Skulls” secret society only to stumble upon some dastardly murder they’ve covered-up and then they begin making his life a living hell. If only the “3 strikes” law applied to the makers of bad cinema.
Credit Fangoria with reporting the goofiest stories in quite some time. “Pocket Star books has announced a series of young-adult slasher novels that serve as sequels to William Shakespeare’s plays! The first entry, to be published in February 2003, is HAMLET II: OPHELIA’S REVENGE by David Bergantino, in which a college freshman inherits his family’s castle in Denmark and brings a group of friends over for spring break, only to be terrorized by the spirit of the Bard’s tragic heroine!” Shakespeare must be spinning in his grave. If those rumors about Sir Francis Bacon being Shakespeare’s ghost writer are true, I’m sure he’s spinning in his grave too. Personally, I have my fingers crossed that they make A MIDSUMMER NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and OTHELLORAISER.
One final warning before you head out to the video store today, DO NOT RENT FANGS! I’ve written reviews/warnings on both the NOWFF site and Creature Corner to try and get people to steer away from this movie which hits video/dvd shelves today. So let me say it one last time, DO NOT RENT FANGS! You have been warned!
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 1:05 PM | Comments
Monday, September 23, 2002
Scott Foy has produced another round of capsule reviews for your enjoyment. Among the films chewed and reviewed: Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Supersonic Man, and Night of the Lepus! How this man suffers, that you might have something to read while slacking off at work!
posted by Christopher 4:42 PM | Comments
Fangoria.com has just posted a nifty little interview with John Carpenter. (Look under "Fearful Features." –Ed.) The Cult Movie Director and All Around Nice Guy discusses the various media projects spawned from his movies, like The Thing game (in which he plays a short lived character named Farraday) and the Snake Plissken comics and anime feature (hearing Plissken referred to as a Ronin just made my heart pound, in a good way). All of it sounds promising, except for Vampires: Los Muertos, which he distances himself from quite a bit.
Speaking of busy Cult Movie Directors, Don Coscarelli hopes to mount Phantasm's End after the still without a distributor Bubba Ho-tep gets squared away. David DeCoteau's no doubt homo-erotic Speed Demon (i.e. The Fast and The Furious writ small budget) has wrapped and moved to post production.
Want to serve The Lord Satan? Well go to www.thelordsatan.com and see about the job opportunities offered on the low budget thriller. Mystery surrounds The Rig, a movie about stressful things on a trouble oil rig. Is it horror? Is it sci-fi? Is it action? No one is saying, yet. And Richard Ramirez joins Ed Gein, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer in the serial killer biopic/docudrama realm. A movie version of his story called The Night Stalker is in production, as distasteful as it no doubt will be, the movie will feature the coolness that is Danny Trejo, so all is not lost. Lakeshore Entertainment also threatens a Mothman sequel, to be titled either The Mothman Lives or The Mothman Returns. Whoopee.
Sad, sad news. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon IS NOT a retiling of the low budget thriller Megalodon, which has been reported here and elsewhere. It is in fact a product of Nu Image, which has bestowed the Crocodile, Octopus, and Spiders film series on us. Still, I'm counting down the days and fighting of the urge to buy it sight unseen ("Want to own something like Crocodile 2: Death Swamp?" is a great splash of cold, harsh reality).
Samhain, the "cannibals stalking Richard Greico and a pack o' porn queens" movie, has wrapped and will see a limited release in Canada and the USA sometime in October. Yeah, right, don't hold your breath. This thing stinks of direct to video. The ever changing Tooth Fairy movie is now called THE TOOTH FAIRY: EVERY LEGEND HAS A DARK SIDE and is set for a January 31, 2003 release. SIGNS has been announced for a January 1st, 2003 video/DVD release. HOUSE OF A 1,000 CORPSES is set for a March 2003 release from Lion's Gate. It will hit theaters with an R-rating and see an Unrated video/DVD release. No surprise there.
Sunglasses is the working title of Dario Argento's next giallo, which looks to star his daughter Asia after all. The tale is of an actress haunted by her dark past. Dimension has picked up Nick Hamm's psychological thriller The Hole, about a group of school-skipping students who venture into an underground chamber, and not all come out alive. The various reasons become quite scary, or so I'm told.
–Chad H. "Chadzilla" Saxelid
posted by Christopher 9:42 AM | Comments
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