Good evening, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea . . . let's go to press!
"Hey, how long until someone decides to remake THE THING again?" I sarcastically asked this in my last update at the conclusion of the John Carpenter news blurb. Well, just hours after writing that I would read a story on Coming Attractions that Universal is suddenly very interested in producing a sequel to the 1982 classic and have reportedly sent some feelers in the direction of Mr. Carpenter whose response was apparently a little to pricey for the studio. No decision of any kind has been made yet, but Universal has their eye on the sales of the just released THE THING video game and how well it sells may ultimately decide if a sequel gets made. Let's digest this for a moment. Universal is interested in making a sequel to a 20 year old movie that flopped upon its initial release but in subsequent years has come to be highly regarded and whether or not said sequel gets made may very well depend on how strong the sales are for a video game which itself is designed to be a sort of pseudo-sequel to the film. Only in Hollywood!
Brace yourself for this one. Tim Burton has signed on to direct BATMAN: THE MUSICAL for Broadway! Yep, Warner Brothers, DC Comics, and Tim Burton have apparently all lost their collective minds as they are moving forward with production of a theatrical rock opera based on the Caped Crusader. The New York Post reports that Burton signed on to helm the production because he was so unhappy with the direction the series took under the helm of Joel Schumacher. Exactly what the hell that means is anybody's guess because I don't think anyone said to themselves, "Song and dance numbers! That's what the next Batman movie needs!" The $15 million production is set to hit the great white way sometime in 2005 and has the potential to be the biggest Broadway megabomb since SEUSSICAL. Where's Kevin Smith with a gun when you need him?
It seems that even when Disney doesn't actually make a remake, they come up with a film whose very premise is essentially a remake of another film. Listen to this premise and you tell me. "A pro football player who has been suspended numerous times is forced to return to his troubled hometown to coach a misfit high school football team and subsequently makes them a winning team while learning the true spirit of the game. The Hollywood Reporter reports that DE-FENSE, the film's title, will star Ice Cube and is currently being fast-tracked by the house of Mouse. Ice Cube and the writer of MENACE II SOCIETY have co-written what is essentially a gridiron version of THE MIGHTY DUCKS to be produced by the Walt Disney Corporation? I think this is one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse. If we hear a report of Eminem appearing on Sesame Street, then we know the end it truly near.
Our bad movie wet dream has come one step closer to reality as it appears that Steven Seagal has successfully suckered some Asian moneymen to finance his Genghis Khan biopic. It was starting to look like this one wouldn't be happening, but not it appears to be a go. You can read all about the trials and tribulations of Seagal's Chinese quest to find financing over at the Monkeypeaches site.
WARRIORS OF VIRTUE 2? There hasn't been a lot of buzz on this movie, which is probably because the first one was a box office dud that was greeted with lukewarm critical and audience reaction. The movie has been filming in China and whenever it comes out it will probably be best known as the movie that Kevin Smith (The actor who played Ares on Hercules and Xena, not the foul-mouthed, pot-smoking writer/director) was filming when he was tragically killed in an on-set accident. The movie is currently in post-production and seeking a distributor. This one is pretty much guaranteed a direct-to-video release.
BRING IT ON…AGAIN? It's no surprise that a sequel is being made to the 2000 box office hit, but is that really the best title they could come up with? It sounds like it should be a TV reunion movie or something along the lines of What's Happening Now. Dark Horizons has posted a couple of brief blurbs about locations being scouted, but not much else is known other than you shouldn't expect any of the original cast back. This one will star Faunce Chambers. Who?
Finally, after reading Chadzilla's report a few days ago about the upcoming "nature run amok" movie LEECHES, I immediately checked out the site myself. David DeCoteau is gay? I'd have never guessed looking at the LEECHES movie gallery. I hope none of the guys caught a cold filming that movie because from the looks of things, their wardrobe consists of speedos and little else. I love how all the pics of the male stars look like Playgirl photos and all the girls' pics look like High School Yearbook photos. LEECHES must be Mr. Decoteau's dream project – a movie about a bunch of hunky guys who get sucked to death? Think about it. :)
–Scott Foy
