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Friday, August 09, 2002
Academy Award winner and cult movie staple Charlton Heston (Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes) announced today that he has begun to show symptoms consistent with Alzheimer's Disease. Most news outlets will have this, but here's a link to take you straight to the story on Yahoo News. Whether you agree with his politics or not, this is sad news for movie fans everywhere.
posted by Christopher 12:05 PM | Comments
FLASH: SPECIAL BAD MOVIE NEWS BULLETIN…
Only one story for you today, but it’s a huge story. I am so glad this story is being reported in print because I’m not sure I could report it with a straight face. Remember THE CONQUEROR? That was the 1956 epic about Genghis Khan starring John Wayne in the lead role. THE CONQUEROR is widely considered one of cinema's all-time worst thanks to what is probably the single worst bit of miscasting in motion picture history. Not only is clearly the biggest blemish on John Wayne’s distinguished career, it was also the movie that lead to his death by cancer. Seems they filmed on location in New Mexico in vicinity of an atom bomb testing site. Practically the entire cast developed cancer in the years following. This remains but a sad footnote to what is truly one of the most laughable Hollywood blockbusters ever made. I mean, what could possibly be sillier than John Wayne playing Genghis Khan?
STEVEN SEAGAL IS GOING TO PLAY GENGHIS KHAN!!!
This is not a joke! A site called Monkeypeaches (www.monkeypeaches.com) which specializes in Chinese cinema has reported this, quoting two different sources. According to Reuters, Seagal will play the legendary Mongol in a $30 million biopic. And yes, it is all his idea! He somehow duped a Mongolian film company and Hong Kong producers to bankroll this movie that is already guaranteed to go down as one of the all-time worst movies ever. Monkeypeaches also quotes another Chinese periodical, Beijing Youth, which reports that Seagal is hoping to cast some top names in the Chinese film industry as well as sucker. . . I mean lure a well-respected Chinese director such as Ang Lee to helm the project. Conflicting reports list the start date for filming as being either October 2002 or, more likely, May 2003.
I don’t know about you, but I honestly cannot wait for this movie to get rolling! This is going to be sooooooooo bad it’s going to be great!
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 5:23 AM | Comments
Thursday, August 08, 2002
Anchor Bay put up an itty bitty tease about the 25th Anniversary edition of Halloween. Basically they promise new and more goodies, though how they could top that Michael/Laurie snow globe release is beyond me. Ironically the 25th Anniversary will also make the 25th variant of a Halloween movie that Anchor Bay has recycled and released (just kidding, but it sure feels that way).
While I'm hanging around the Anchor Bay subject I would like to take a moment or two to discuss William Lustig. Lustig, as most of us know, is the director of such cult classics as Maniac, the Maniac Cop series, Relentless, and Uncle Sam. He is also a HUGE exploitation/grindhouse film preservationist and was, until recently, working at Anchor Bay. However Anchor Bay as decided to stop acquiring new movies for their library and focus instead and releasing the movies they already own. Lustig, feeling that there remains a great and untapped well of grindhouse fodder, has created Blue Underground DVD, the moniker "Guilty pleasures for adventurous movie fans." Looking to tap into the nostalgia for the grindhouse fodder that took all of us old fart bad/b-movie fans to the more questionable area of downtown to see, Blue Underground promises extra packed ultimate special editions. Their first batch hits September 3rd with The Toolbox Murders, Shock Waves (which I already ordered), and The Prowler (on my wish list). Following those are a few I have never heard of... Grand Slam, Revolver, Marquis De Sade's Justine, Eugenie...The Story of Her Journey into Perversion, and Quiet Days in Clichy. Look for the off beat and interesting from this company, Lustig, if not a great director, is truly a passionate fan boys dream come true. To drool over this promising new label, go to blue-underground.com.
For those longing for another A-Team-type TV series, your prayers have been answered! Ronin screenwriter J.D. Zeik is taking his tale of for-hire spies to the small screen, crafting a spin-off series of the hit movie that co-producer Paul Kelmenson tells Cinescape "...will be very stylized, very mysterious. It's a very fast-paced, very smart ensemble spy mystery." Well mysteries should be very mysterious, right? But producers don't need to be articulate. It is set to air for the FX channel.
Cinescape also tells you to add Vampirella to the countless comic book heroes that will choke the mulitplexes for the next four to six years. Mindfire Entertainment promises a $25 million, R-rated extravaganza. I'll believe it when I see it.
Fangoria's website shows off a cheesy effects photo from the pompous Clive Barker Sci-fi Channel project Saint Sinner. Some demon giving birth to a tentacle. Wow. More wow is a link to AMC's Monsterfest, which will feature the Halloween backstory and a mini-marathon of Halloweens 2, 3, 4, and 5. Also offered are Frankenstein, Dracula, and Big Monster movie marathons. Other news there is that Sean Patrick Flanery will be joining the cast of The Dead Zone as Greg Stillson, the evil politician played by Martin Sheen in the Cronenberg-directed film version of the novel by Stephen King. You know I have a great idea for a final episode! See, Johnny has a vision about Stillson and....
Pluto is back! Not the dog, but Michael Berryman, the distinctive looking character actor that graced the posters of Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes (the sequel to which hits DVD September 3rd), who returns in Storyteller. Berryman rates the script quite highly, saying "The script has the best storyline and dialogue I have seen in years. It is very well-crafted. It is not your typical 20-year-old standard fodder. It is the most intelligent and creepy film I have ever been involved with. This movie will be such a scary and compelling breath of fresh fear for the fans." Yeah, but will it be any good? The story is supposed to revovle around a man compelled to kill by the devil itself and is told from the point of few of his hallucinations. Berryman plays a spectre, someone give this man a romantic lead!
Misty Mundae's website has posted the interview the young starlet recently did for Femme Fatale Magazine, good stuff.
posted by Christopher 7:34 AM | Comments
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press!
CORRECTION: Benicio Del Toro is NOT directing the remake of CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. It is in fact Guillermo Del Toro (MIMIC/BLADE 2) who is remaking the classic tale of the Gill-Man. CHUD, as well as several other movie news sites, has amended the news byte originally reported on Monday. I think everyone thought the Benicio story just didn’t sound right at all. Hopefully this Del Toro won’t screw up the proposed remake of the 50s sci-fi classic. The role of the Amazon will now be played by Queensland, Australia.
A Polynesian BRAVEHEART? According to CHUD, that’s in the works. Rob (FAST & THE FURIOUS/XXX) Cohen is set to direct the action packed biopic of legendary Hawaiian ruler, King Kamehameha, with the title role to be played by The Rock. Insert your own punchline here.
Ain’t It Cool News has reported that Demi Moore, who took a sabbatical from Hollywood for a few years, has joined the cast of CHARLIE’S ANGELS 2: HALO as an ex-angel turned evil. Well, its nice to see that the time away from Tinseltown hasn’t affected her track record for poor career choices.
Actor Brad Renfro (APT PUPIL/THE CLIENT) has joined cast of FREDDY VS. JASON. It’ll be interesting to see if he’ll be able to get through the entire shoot before getting busted for drugs again.
Seems that annoying guy from the Dell Computer commercials has been cast in the role of the teenage Jeff Daniels in the upcoming prequel to DUMB & DUMBER. This horrifying bit of casting has been reported by Dark Horizons. And here I was convinced DJ Qualls would get tapped for the part, but instead they managed to get someone a million times worse.
The Hollywood Reporter has reported that former Saturday Night Live cast member Molly Shannon is going to star in GOOD BOY, a family comedy about an extraterrestrial dog. So basically it’s going to be THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE with a pooch in place of a feline. I told you that movie was going to get remade in some form.
The Hollywood Reporter also reports that Stan Winston’s production company has purchased the rights to produce a movie based on the video game AREA 51. I wonder if the film will be shot in a first-person shooter point of view? This could make for a fun b-movie, but considering Winston’s last foray into monster movie territory were those wretched Creature Features for Cinemax, my hopes don’t run high for this one.
DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR - A washed-up child star who snaps and tries to recreate the perfect family with a foster family he’s hired to recreate his childhood. The star – David Spade. Does this sound like a movie you want to see? I didn’t think so either. Variety reports that Alyssa Milano has accepted the role of Spade’s lead character’s girlfriend. Variety didn’t report whether or not Miss Milano has fired her agent yet. Coming sometime in 2003 and probably closing a week later.
Miramax has hired Peter Chelsom to direct the American remake of the 1996 Japanese hit SHALL WE DANCE? Mr. Chelsom’s last movie was the Warren Beatty-Goldie Hawn megabomb TOWN & COUNTRY, which currently holds the record as the biggest financial money loser in Hollywood history. Yeah, good choice Miramax!
Fangoria has reported two items of note. First, a pointless sequel is in the works to STEPHEN KING’S THE NIGHT FLIER. Joy. Second, Halloween 2003 is the official release date for the remake of THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. October 31, 2003 also happens to be the 30th anniversary of the events that spawned the original cult film classic. This is basically the equivalent of celebrating the 50th anniversary of GODZILLA in 2004 by dropping another atomic bomb on Japan. Nothing good will come from this.
The Anna Nicole Smith Show scored a 4.3 rating, which is a monstrous number for a cable show, for its debut on the E! Network this past Sunday. Truly the endtimes are at hand! And to think that the majority of the people who tuned into this show are the same people who make fun of those who watch Star Trek or WWE or Mystery Science Theater 3000.
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 7:10 AM | Comments
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
There's a new batch of capsule reviews available now. Included are reviews for: The Satanic Rites of Dracula, Day of the Animals, Sting of Death, La Femme Nikita, The Incredible Hulk Returns, Dark City, Cleopatra Jones, Embrace of the Vampire, Bride of Chucky, Satan's School for Girls, Miracle Mile, Logan's Run, and Lathe of Heaven.
Also, don't forget to stop by Cult DVD Zone for this week's crop of DVD releases. It's a big, big week, including The Blob, some new Dr. Who episodes, Them!, The Swarm, and so much more.
posted by Christopher 10:44 AM | Comments
Monday, August 05, 2002
Good morning, Mr. & Mrs. Fanboy and all the geeks at sea…let’s go to press!
CHUD reports that Benicio Del Toro, who won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his work in TRAFFIC, is set to direct the remake of CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. No, seriously. Well, this certainly came from out of nowhere. Del Toro has directed once before, a little known indy film called SUBMISSION, but this will be his first foray into big budget Hollywood filmmaking. This remake has been in the works for many, many years being attached to everyone from John Carpenter to Jim Cameron at different times, but this time it’s set to become a reality. No word yet on whether the puffy-eyed chain smoker himself will star alongside the Gill-Man. Ironically, filming of the Amazonian monster flick will take place in Australia. Considering that this is one of my personal all-time favorites, I hope he doesn’t screw it up.
Another VAMPIRELLA movie? According to Dark Horizons, Mindfire Entertainment has optioned the film and TV rights and plan a $25 million budgeted movie to begin production next year. For some reason, I just don’t see this one actually happening on the big screen although if it does it can’t possibly be worse than that Jim Wynorski one from a few years back.
Is everyone ready for DUMB & DUMBER: EPISODE ONE? Well, a prequel to the Jim Carrey/Jeff Daniels comedy is in the works, but don’t expect to see either of the film’s original stars on-screen. No, this is about their high school years so younger actors will be needed. I suspect DJ Qualls' phone is already ringing. As for the original’s directing duo, the Farrelly Brothers, you don’t think they’re going to waste their time on this lame idea? However, the script is being written by the brother of the New Line Cinema exec who greenlit the project. I think that pretty much tells you all you need to know about this one.
While everyone will be talking about the monster box office SIGNS did this past weekend, it should also be noted that MASTER OF DISGUISE pulled in over $13 million meaning its already almost out-grossed EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS. Dana Carvey’s new (cough) comedy current rating at Rotten Tomatoes is 1 positive (from some no name critic who likes fart jokes) and 57 negative. This means it actually ranks lower than such films as DEUCES WILD and CHILL FACTOR. Now that’s bad! However, since the film has already almost made its $16 million budget back, a sequel is almost assured. God help us all!
Disney has another remake on the front burner. This time it’s a remake of FREAKY FRIDAY. Who do they want it to star – Kelly Osbourne. Does this really need any sort of sarcastic comment to go along with it?
In further proof that Disney is Satan, The Wonderful World Of Disney ABC program is planning a musical version of the story of Noah’s Ark complete with lots of CGI. Memo to Disney: this is the Bible, not Dinotopia! Still, it can’t possibly be worse than the movie version NBC did a year or two ago. That was the one where Noah had to fight off pirates during the flood and after Lot’s wife was turned to dust he uttered the line, “My wife was always the salt of the Earth and now she is.” Some NBC execs are going to Hell for that one!
Did you catch the debut of William Shatner’s Full Moon Fright Night? I did and for the first time in my life I longed for the return of Gilbert Gottfried! Yikes! Those in-between segments weren’t just unfunny they were painfully unfunny. I actually started hoping he’d burst into a chorus of Mr. Tambourine Man. Get this show some comedy writers, stat!
–Scott Foy
posted by Christopher 6:59 AM | Comments
Sunday, August 04, 2002
We've got a new feature for you – former reference specialist Tim Lehnerer puts his skills to use for the good of b-movie fans with his new column, "Ask the Web Fu Master." We're thrilled to have Tim on board; please welcome him and check out his inaugural article.
posted by Christopher 11:17 AM | Comments
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